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firing someone after years of underperformance, coworker keeps falling asleep, and more
Apr. 24th, 2026 04:03 am![[syndicated profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/feed.png){kind=small}
askamanager_feedIt’s four answers to four questions. Here we go…
1. How do I fire someone humanely when management ignored years of underperformance?
I’m a manager at a small product company and I’m facing a role elimination that’s keeping me up at night.
I joined this org a bit less than a year ago and inherited a team, including one person who has been here for eight years — the only job he’s ever had since college. The role has always required strategic thinking, synthesis, and independent problem framing. He has never fully met that bar, but when I arrived, the work happened to be more execution-focused and predefined, so the gap was less visible. Now that the work requires what the role always demanded, the gap is undeniable. Some of what he does can also now be handled by AI, which makes the role increasingly hard to justify.
He has no professional network and has never job searched as an adult. When I try to picture him navigating interviews or knowing where to even start, I genuinely can’t. I think he’d struggle a lot with the social performance aspects of interviewing. Beyond that, this type of role, which is the only one he’s had his whole career, is dwindling across the industry, and he doesn’t have the fundamental skills to do the job elsewhere. On top of that, I know enough about his personal situation to know that losing this job would be devastating.
The people who hired him and let this go on for years are still at the org. They all agree something needs to change, but the work of handling it has fallen to me, the newest person in the room. My boss told me that this employee has been underperforming for years, and when I asked if the employee knew that, my boss said, “Probably not.” I’m angry at my predecessors for not addressing this when the job market was stronger. Now he’s facing this in a brutal market, and I feel like he’s going to pay the price for their inaction.
What’s the right path forward for someone in his situation — how much notice, what kind of severance, and what support? And is it appropriate that I’m the one doing this when the people who created the situation are still here — and should I be pushing back on that?
Yeah, that’s horrible. Your organization’s management let this go on for years and is now poised to let him go in a particularly awful market. That doesn’t mean you should keep him on (there are other people who need work, perhaps just as desperately, and could do the work you need done) but it does mean that the organization has a very strong obligation to act with care. That means talking to him as soon as possible about the deficiencies in his work so that he’s not blindsided, offering him any training and support that might be reasonable (if any exists; realistically, it may not), and being prepared to offer sizable severance to help give him a softer landing. Exactly how long that process should take depends on specifics I don’t have, but if he’s never heard before now that he hasn’t been performing at the level needed, I’d say at least a few months from when you first talk to him about the issues or a severance package large enough that it makes up for less notice.
It would be a kindness to make it a layoff rather than a firing, framing it as “the needs of the job have changed” (which is arguably true — if nothing else, he’s being held to a different bar now, even if it’s the bar he always should have been held to).
It’s unfair that you’re the one getting stuck with it, but it also sounds like he’s better off with you handling it, because you can be direct when other people there apparently won’t be.
2. Coworkers ignore my availability and then get angry when I’m not around
I’m the shipper/receiver for my university campus, and I’m regularly the only one who works the dock on any given day. There is the occasional part-time help that comes in two or three times a week in the afternoons to help prevent me from drowning in the volume of stuff I receive for my campus every day. My day generally consists of receiving in the morning and distributing everything I receive in the afternoon. Due to some limitations from the health and safety department, I’m not allowed to distribute some of the items (think liquid nitrogen, compressed gasses, new large appliances, etc.). For those items, I have to email or call the person to come pick them up from me. And some items that I usually deliver have to be picked up as their recipients are located in secure areas I don’t have access to.
When I send those emails, I specifically say to come by the dock during my morning operating hours before lunch, as I need them to sign out their stuff from me for tracking purposes. And the deliveries I do in the afternoon keep me away from the dock all afternoon. I only return for a few minutes at a time to get a new cart of deliveries, so I spend maybe 15 minutes of my four hours in the afternoon at the dock.
There’s been a large uptick in people who are just straight-up ignoring my availability. Lately, all the pickup requests I do are met with a decisive response of some variation of “I’ll be there at X time in the afternoon” and nothing else. I reiterate that I’m not available to sign out their items to them in the afternoon and to come by in the morning. But lately they just show up in the afternoon regardless, then get extremely annoyed, and sometimes bananapants mad, that I’m not there to sign their stuff out to them when I very clearly said that I will not be around to do so.
I’ve even had complaints to my boss that were essentially, “Receiver wasn’t at dock to sign stuff out to me, do something to correct it.” My boss has dismissed them as pointless. But when those complaints go nowhere, they get escalated if these people are feeling vindictive enough. Thankfully nothing has ever come of it, at least not yet. So while my bosses know of the issue, I think I need to ask them to help me deal with it in a formal request. How would I even go about that?
First, if you don’t already have it, ask for some type of official and very visible signage at the dock that clearly states what the pick-up hours are, so that people who come by in the afternoon see that rather than assuming you’re just AWOL (and so it looks like the dock’s official policy rather than your own). And similarly, you might revisit how you’re relaying those hours in your email; it clearly needs to be big, bold, and set off from the other text so it’s harder to miss.
But behind that, just lay it out for your boss: “As you know, there’s been a large uptick in people ignoring my availability and, even though I clearly tell people that they need to pick up their shipments before noon or I’ll be away on deliveries, they show up anyway and then some of them complain that I’m not here. Sometimes those complaints have been escalated and, while nothing has come of it so far, I’m concerned about having complaints filed against me. Can you help me figure out how to fix this?”
3. My coworker keeps falling asleep while I’m waiting on work from him
I have a coworker who is going through it. Like, just one hit after another. I feel bad, and our team has really stepped up to support him.
However, I notice that he’s been falling asleep a lot during the day. If I message him at 2 pm, he will respond at 6 saying “Sorry, I fell asleep.” I am assuming there is not much I should do here, my manager is well aware of what’s going on in his life. However, he also took last week off to deal with some personal matters and left a bunch of time sensitive work unfinished. And when he falls asleep, I’m also usually waiting for a response for something I need to close the loop.
Do I just chalk this up to “Dang, this guy is going through it” and work around that? Do we need to have a larger conversation with the team about what to do when this happens? I want to be sensitive to what’s going on in his life, but I also don’t want work to fall through the cracks if it doesn’t have to.
Can you talk to him about it directly? For example: “I know you’re having a rough time right now. What’s the best thing for me to do when I’m waiting on a response from you in order to move forward with something and can’t reach you for a good chunk of the day, or when something looks like it might have gotten overlooked?” Even just asking that might nudge him into realizing he’s got to do something differently (which obviously wouldn’t be making his life magically fall into place but might be setting alarms during the day so he’s not sleeping for four hours while people are waiting on him or talking to his boss about managing his workload differently during this time).
If that doesn’t work and it’s causing problems in your work, at that point there’s not much more you can do besides talking to your boss about managing the team’s workload differently while your coworker is (presumably temporarily) less available.
4. Should I ask for a promotion?
I’ve been with my company since 2013. In 2021, I made a deliberate shift out of an area where I was a well-established subject matter expert to join a different division. I started as an entry-level associate in Tech Ops and, within about 18 months, moved into Business Operations Analytics.
Since then, I’ve consistently rebuilt my reputation as a go-to expert. I’ve created processes, documentation, and training materials that were originally designed for a team of about 20, but are still in use today as the organization has scaled to 200 employees. After several reorganizations, I was placed into a smaller, specialized team of eight. For about a year, I operated in what was essentially a “Lead” capacity without the official title. Eventually, I was formally given the Lead title, but I’m compensated at the Business Operations Analyst II level, higher than the traditional lead role.
Over the past three years, I’ve received “exceeds expectations” on every performance review, which is extremely rare at my company. While that has come with merit increases, I’m still positioned around the mid-range of the pay band for my role.
From a results standpoint, I’ve driven measurable impact. The work I’ve led has contributed to an approximately 84% increase in resolution success across my department (my team plus two others). During my last review, my previous director stated in front of my current manager that my performance is “bar none” and that I’m more than ready for the next step in my career.
Given all of this, do I have a strong case to formally push for a promotion? Is it better to wait and see if my manager advocates for me organically, or should I take a more direct route and clearly communicate that I’m seeking advancement (and may need to explore other opportunities if that’s not possible)? I want to handle this professionally and strategically, not emotionally or impulsively. At the same time, I don’t want to continue operating at a higher level without corresponding title and compensation if there’s no path forward.
It sure sounds like you have a strong case for promotion. You should talk to your manager about it proactively rather than waiting to see if she advocates for it on her own. She might, but not every manager is good at doing that, and some don’t even think about it until an employee explicitly raises it. So yes, talk to her! Say that you have a track record of excellent results in your current role and you’d like to talk about what a path to promotion would look like.
You don’t need to spell out that you’d consider job searching if you’re not promoted; that’s always the subtext to conversations like this, without needing to be explicitly stated.
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