Fic: Better Living Through Chemistry (Pros, B/D)

[przed]

Title: Better Living Through Chemistry
Author: P.R. Zed
Fandom: Pros
Pairing: Bodie/Doyle
Notes: Written for the annual picfor1000 challenge. This is the challenge that got me back to writing Pros again--is it really only three years ago?--so it holds a special place for me. My prompt this year was of a cash drawer, which took some thinking, but led to this frothy, smutty confection. Big thanks to ancastar for beta duties and getting me halfway to the title.

Better Living Through Chemistry

"That'll be 15 p, Mrs. Harris."

"Thanks, Ray. See you tomorrow."

I knew I'd been undercover too long when I realized I was a fixture in the neighbourhood. That nice Mrs. Harris depended on me for her daily Cadbury Fruit & Nut. That harried Norm Peters always came to me when he couldn't find the nappies. That spotty-faced Terrence only had the bottle to buy a packet of condoms when I was manning the till, though Christ only knew what girl was daft enough to sleep with him.

And for what? So George Cowley could find out if Adnan Rashid, owner of the local chemist's in Stepney where I was currently employed, was a fanatical terrorist or just a nice bloke who'd got pushed out of Uganda when Amin took over and fetched up in London. Me, I was betting on the nice bloke option.

Hard to prove a negative, though, so here I was. And getting close to fitting up Rashid myself, just to end the op.

The problem was Bodie. 'Course it was; the problem was always Bodie. We'd started sleeping together...no, that's not right. We'd started fucking two weeks before Cowley sent me off on this wild goose chase. Two weeks. Just long enough to know we liked it. Just long enough to know we wanted to keep doing it.

But could we? Fuck, no. Not with me stuck in a bloody bedsit in Stepney, with walls thin enough that my neighbours could hear every breath I drew. Not with my contact with Bodie reduced to a once daily check-in to make sure I hadn't found Rashid's stash of C4 explosive inside a case of bog roll.

And Bodie wasn't making it easy.

Wasn't so bad, the first week. He'd come in, buy a tube of toothpaste, get the bad news, and leave. The second week, though, he'd started getting bored. Seemed to try and find the oddest thing in the shop to buy. I'm sure Mrs. Harris wondered about him buying a breast pump.

The third week...oh, the third week, he must have decided to wind me up, good and proper. Started off with buying a tube of lotion. Innocent enough, except it was the same brand we'd used for a spot of lubrication a time or two, when there was nothing else to hand. Bastard knew I knew what he was about. I could see it in his eyes.

Next day, he bought a packet of condoms. Extra large. Purple. Berry-flavoured. Gave me a most suggestive leer over the counter when I took his money, too. The blush on my cheeks could have heated all of Stepney for a week.

Went on like that for days, buying stuff that made me hot and bothered, and made me wish Cowley'd admit he'd got the wrong end of the stick so I could go home and fuck Bodie blind. Or be fucked blind by him; I didn't mind either way. One day, bubble bath that reminded me of the rather athletic use we'd made of the huge cast iron tub in his flat. The next, KY. Touched my hand that day, the bastard. Put three fingers on the back of my hand and just held them there. Held them long enough that I could feel my skin burn, but not so long that anyone noticed the contact. Nearly snapped poor Terrence's head off after that one.

And now he's back. He holds the door open for Mrs. Harris and makes straight for me, an arrogant swagger in his hips and an infuriating grin on his face.

"Can I help you, sir?" I ask as neutrally as I can manage.

"Uncle George has a message," he says quietly.

"Oh, yeah. And what's that?" I'm not feeling charitable toward him night now. I've been too long on the boil with no sign of relief in sight and I'm in no mood for his pratting about.

"Not here," he says with a smirk. "Can you take a break?"

I can and I do and then we're on the street. Bodie steers me around the corner and down the alley that runs behind the shops. We stop in an alcove, hidden from prying eyes.

"What's this message?" I ask. Or try to. Because before I can get the words out I've been pushed against the brick and Bodie's kissing me, his tongue fierce and demanding, his hands kneading my arse.

I struggle to push him away, to tell him to fuck off, but he's always been just that little bit stronger than me in close quarters. Then I decide this is one fight I don't want to win. I'm not pushing anymore; I'm pulling. Surrounding him with my arms, getting under that leather jacket, under his poloneck, till I can feel his skin on my own. He's hiking up my shirt, snaking a hand inside my jeans till I'm panting and aching and ready to burst.

Swearing, I shove him away and tear open both our flies. I don't give a rat's arse about the risk; I just want him. Now.

My cock's hard, but it gets harder when he grabs it. I return the favour, and then he's making me gasp even as I'm stroking him, kissing him, biting him. We're both moaning, each bucking against the other, equal and opposite, as always.

And then it's over and he's grinning at me. Cock still out, come on his hand, looking rumpled and worn and well shagged. Bastard.

I clean up as best I can then remember what he'd said in the shop.

"What's Uncle George got to say?"

"Rashid's clean."

"What?"

"Clean."

"Gonna kill Cowley."

"Don't do that, Ray."

"Why not?"

"'Cause he's just given us two days off."

"He never."

"He did." Impossibly, Bodie's grin widens. "And I've got an idea of how we can spend them."

I'll bet he does. But that's all right. 'Cause I've an idea that I'm going to enjoy his idea. Immensely.

Comments

[eleanorb.livejournal.com]

Very nice. I can just see Bodie doing that.

[przed.livejournal.com]

Thanks. I always love an impish Bodie.

[sc-fossil.livejournal.com]

Damn, but you made me hot and bothered. Bodie is such a tease. I really liked how he had Doyle all randy until they both couldn't stand it any longer. Very cool. Thanks!

[przed.livejournal.com]

Hot and bothered was my intention. (Me? Evil? Nah.)

[melanieathene.livejournal.com]

That Bodie is such a rascal! Thank you, I really enjoyed this story.

[przed.livejournal.com]

Bodie is indeed a rascal. It's why he's so much fun.

[gilda-elise.livejournal.com]

Wow, great alley scene! The rest is nice, too. ;-)

[przed.livejournal.com]

There can never be too many alley scenes. *g*

[ancastar.livejournal.com]

Awesome! But then you knew I felt that way. ;-)

I can't tell you how jealous I am that yours is finished and wonderful while mine languishes and continues to be shite.

I will persevere. And use your terrific story as a model. *g*

[przed.livejournal.com]

I'm sure yours isn't shite. And that you'll have it done soon. (Looking forward to seeing it, whatever fandom it ends up being in. *eg*)

[towerbridge2006.livejournal.com]

I love this! I dont think I could pass by a pros fic written by you. You write such hot funny spot-on fic, girl!

More please. Quick as you can. ;)

[przed.livejournal.com]

You are far too kind. *blushes*

[towerbridge2006.livejournal.com]

You are far too talented.

[tes-fic.livejournal.com]

Thanks! This was a great read and the characters, spot on.
:)

[przed.livejournal.com]

Thank you! So pleased you thought I got the characters right.

[metabolick.livejournal.com]

Oh, how like wicked Bodie to wind Ray up by buying all those bizarre and suggestive things! Hee! It really maked me smile to think of it. Thanks.

[przed.livejournal.com]

Bodie's at his best when he's being wicked. Like in your icon. *rrwwooar*

[miwahni.livejournal.com]

I enjoyed this! I like the slice-of-life feel of the first few paragraphs, and then Bodie's teasing, followed by the hotness. Very nice indeed. Especially this - ...equal and opposite, as always... That is spot-on.

[przed.livejournal.com]

Especially this - ...equal and opposite, as always... That is spot-on.

Awww, that is the passage I'm most proud of in the whole piece, so I'm chuffed you picked it out.

[callistosh65.livejournal.com]

Oh that's so good! You really made the most of 1,000 words. Bodie getting Ray hot and bothered was a wicked delight from start to finish. Thank you for this.

[przed.livejournal.com]

I nearly didn't have enough words left for the really wicked part, but I managed to tweak it so it all worked out. *g*

[krisserci5.livejournal.com]

I can just see Bodie doing all that. Sex in the alley, I so love that!! Enjoyed the story.

[przed.livejournal.com]

Alley sex is always a popular choice. *g*

[sarren.livejournal.com]

Wow, this is a great set up, and HOT.

[przed.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Hot is so much fun to write with these two.

[sarren.livejournal.com]

True, though really, when is hot NOT fun to write?

[przed.livejournal.com]

All I'm gonna say is that certain characters *cough*see the icon*cough* don't seem to like to cooperate when it comes to the hot. *g*

[sarren.livejournal.com]

Oh, I know, why are they so circumspect?

I read your gen story, it was very cool, especially the way you wrote April, but I was very disappointed at the lack of hot monkey sex. Could you please have a word with Ilya? I have no idea why Napoleon plays so hard to get!

[przed.livejournal.com]

When I was recently archiving some of my early UNCLE stories, even the slash ones seemed so darn chaste.

And it's not just 'cause I wrote them years ago. When I tried to write an UNCLE story this past Christmas with some hot monkey sex, it was like Illya and Napoleon were both rolling their eyes and trying to convince me that I didn't really want them to do that in public. And that Bodie and Doyle were snickering in the corner asking if they could show them how it's done.