(no subject)

[przed]

I don't usually post much real life goings on here, but I'm making an exception today. Partly because I need catharsis. Partly because some of you know me in RL and probably would want to know this.

My father died yesterday.

He was 87 and he'd had a long, mostly good life. He was born in a tiny village in Latvia, studied marine engineering in Riga and survived World War II after being shanghaied by the German merchant marine. He immigrated to Canada in the '50s, and was the chief engineer on a Canadian Coast Guard icebreaker for most of my childhood, which meant I didn't see him a lot, but when I did we had a special relationship. He was quiet, and sometimes stern, but also taught me by example a lot about living life without compromise. He taught me to use a hammer when I was four, and a power drill when I was ten. He and my mom always supported my not always entirely practical life choices. (You want to travel through Europe by yourself when you're not even finished university? Sure. You want to go to grad school in film? Okay.) He could build stuff from scratch that I wouldn't have tried with a full kit and instructions. (When he put new duct work in the house he and my mother shared a few years ago, he made his own rivets.) And for most of the twenty-odd years after he retired, he'd get up at five in the morning and go for a long walk to start his day.

But he hadn't been well for some time. And he hadn't been able to do much at all for most of the last year. Which was hard for me to see, and I'm sure harder for him to live with. And then on Saturday morning, his heart finally gave up and he collapsed in my parents' living room and was gone before the paramedics could arrive.

I'm glad I had the privilege of being his daughter. I'm sad I never got to know him as well as I'd have liked to. And I'm very grateful that whatever powers control these things saw that the Sweetie and I were there this weekend so that my mother didn't have to face this on her own.

Here's one of the last pictures I took of him, with his only granddaughter:


The Sweetie and I have come back home tonight, but we're going back up north first thing tomorrow for the funeral and to help my mom out with all the things that need to be done. I don't expect to be online much at all for the next week, but I'll be back sometime soon. (And with a piece of good news that I'm going to wait for a better time to announce.)

Comments

[gilda-elise.livejournal.com]

There's nothing quite like the relationship between a woman and her father. It's so nice to hear that yours was a good one. But I know what a terrible hole his loss must leave in your life so my thoughts are with you during this most difficult of times.

[przed.livejournal.com]

I sometimes wish I'd been closer to my dad (both my parents are pretty reserved) but on the whole we had a close relationship. Thank you for your thoughts.

[phantomas.livejournal.com]

I am so sorry for your loss. Sudden like that, it's shock but your words paint the portrait of a good man who had a long and fulfilled life, and he looks very happy with Rosalind. Thank you for sharing this with us. *hugs you*

[przed.livejournal.com]

It was a shock, if not entirely unexpected. Still, I'm grateful for the time he had with us, even if I wish he'd got to see Rosalind grow up just a bit more. *hugs back*

[shooting2kill.livejournal.com]

The way you've written about your dad has impressed and moved me a lot (especially his experiences as a young man) - in fact I almost feel as if I've got to know him in just a few paragraphs. What a character he sounded and what a lovely thing to write about him, that you were privileged to be his daughter.

I hope the funeral goes as well as funerals can and that even with the inevitable sadness you also manage to celebrate his incredible life.

[przed.livejournal.com]

Dad went through an amazing amount of stuff when he was younger. (Before the funeral, mom told me he was one of only three members of his graduating class at the marine school to survive the war. And most of his friends that were still in Latvia during the war didn't make it at all.) I'm just grateful I got to know him as well as I did, even if his loss will always leave a gap in my life.

[runriggers.livejournal.com]

Mourn the passing, but cherish the memories, it sounds like you have a lot of those.

hugs

[przed.livejournal.com]

Thank you for the sage advice. *hugs back*

[mrlnpndrgn]

I'm sorry for your loss. {{{P}}}

[przed.livejournal.com]

Thank you. {{{m}}}

[heliophile-oxon.livejournal.com]

I'm truly sorry for your loss. Your father sounds like an exceptional person - there's nothing more wonderful anyone could say about a parent than what you have said here, that you're glad to have had the privilege of being his daughter. I hope you and your family come through this hard time together, and that Rosalind has some memories of her grandfather to cherish as she grows older. It's so good that you happened to be there, so that you could all support each other. I hope the funeral helps, when you can all celebrate his life (I had almost never been to a funeral until my parents died a few years ago, and I was amazed to find that a funeral can really be a great occasion, strange though it sounds to say so!). Heartfelt best wishes to you and yours.

[przed.livejournal.com]

The funeral was hard (I delivered the eulogy, with my childhood best friend at my side in case I couldn't finish) but ultimately a celebration of Dad's life. My parent's minister has an amazing voice and chose some wonderful passages so even my firmly atheist Sweetie agreed it was a lovely service. Thank you for your good wishes.

[nakeisha.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Thank you for telling us about him; he sounds like a wonderful man.

I'm glad you were there for your mom. And it's a lovely picture of him and his granddaughter.

My thoughts are with you and your family. ::Hugs::

[przed.livejournal.com]

Thank you for your good thoughts. It means a lot. *hugs back*

[sc-fossil.livejournal.com]

My sympathies on your loss. Thank you for sharing your memories and for the picture of your baby. She's an image of you. How sweet! It sounds like you have many wonderful memories of your dad. Those are to be cherished. Please take care!

[przed.livejournal.com]

Thank you. We will definitely cherish the memories of my dad, and make sure that Rosalind remembers Grampa Karl.

[zebra363.livejournal.com]

I'm glad he had a good life and you had a good relationship.

What a lovely picture — he looks very kind.

[przed.livejournal.com]

I often wish I was closer to my parents (we're all of reserved northern European stock) but ultimately we had a good relationship, for which I am now very grateful.

[the-shoshanna.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry for your loss, and so glad your family was able to be together when it happened. Sympathies.

[przed.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I am very glad we were together, and glad I could take some time to be with my mom.

[andreathelion.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry to hear for your loss.
It sounds your dad was really someone special and one to be proud of.
I'm glad, you have all those wonderful memories to keep him alive in your heart.
My thoughts are with you and your family ((hugs))

[przed.livejournal.com]

Dad was a very special person. Thank you for your kind thoughts. ((hugs back))

[kortirion.livejournal.com]

He sounds an exceptional father, capable, caring, but able to show you how to handle the dangerous things in life. Your love and pride in him spills over from your words - the loss is sad but you'll always keep him alive in your memories. My best wishes to you, your mother and your Sweetie.

{{{hugs}}}

[przed.livejournal.com]

I'll always be glad that Dad was there for me, and an example to me. Thank you for your good wishes. {{{hugs back}}}

[pxr5.livejournal.com]

My sympathy and condolences....

[przed.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

[graculus.livejournal.com]

Nothing I could say that wouldn't be trite at this point in time, so just be sure that we're all thinking of you guys. Best wishes to you all. *hugs*

[przed.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much. It means a lot that you're thinking of us. *hugs right back*

[probodie.livejournal.com]

May I send you my condolences, and my thoughts are with you.

That's a beautiful picture of him and his granddaughter.

[przed.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much.

We've often been remiss about taking pictures with family, so I'm very glad we have that picture of my dad with Rosalind.

[agentxpndble.livejournal.com]

:::HUGS::: I'm so, so sorry. I wish I could help in some way. Your family will be in my thoughts this upcoming week.

[przed.livejournal.com]

::HUGS BACK:: It's enough to know you're out there. Thank you for your good thoughts.

[londonronnie.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. Your Dad sounds like he was a lovely man, and you obviously have a lot of cherished memories. And that's a lovely photo of your Dad and Rosalind - I'm sure you'll treasure it forever.

Thinking of you and your family.

[przed.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much. Dad was a wonderful guy and we'll definitely miss him.

[kelliem.livejournal.com]

{{{hugs}}}

[przed.livejournal.com]

{{{hugs back}}}

[snailbones.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you.

[przed.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much for your thoughts at this time.

[justacat.livejournal.com]

I'm so very sorry. He sounds like he was a wonderful man. The picture is lovely; how wonderful that he had a chance to know his grandaughter. My thoughts are with you.

[przed.livejournal.com]

Thanks, Jess. I'm very glad Dad got to know his granddaughter, and just wish we'd had more time with him.

[smirra.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry for your loss. He sounds like a fine and interesting man. Thank you for sharing the remembrance with us.

[przed.livejournal.com]

Thank you. Dad was indeed a fine and interesting man. I owe him much for the way I've turned out.

all my heartfelt sympathy from Nevada

[nsandik.livejournal.com]

The picture speaks volumes. I'm so sorry your dad is gone, but he sounds like an absolutely wonderful man. And he spent time with you and taught you things. I agree that you were truly blessed to have him. Big warm hugs from Reno.

(And your daughter is so adorable, it is uncanny.)

Much love to you and yours.

Re: all my heartfelt sympathy from Nevada

[przed.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much, Linda. I am very grateful for the time I had with Dad, and the things he taught me, not the least of which was to be independent and to go where my passion led me.

Love,
P

[paris7am.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry.
What a remarkable life he lived!

[przed.livejournal.com]

Thank you. He was a remarkable guy, if terribly unassuming.

[reginaspina.livejournal.com]

I am so sorry! My condolences to you and your family.

[przed.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much.

[sooguy.livejournal.com]

I am so sorry for your loss.

I am stunned to read this after the fact.

Talk to you when things settle down.

[przed.livejournal.com]

I know I already responded to you in email, but I just wanted to thank you again for your thoughts. It's been a crazy time, and I'm just glad we were there for my mom.