(no subject)

[przed]

I don't usually post much real life goings on here, but I'm making an exception today. Partly because I need catharsis. Partly because some of you know me in RL and probably would want to know this.

My father died yesterday.

He was 87 and he'd had a long, mostly good life. He was born in a tiny village in Latvia, studied marine engineering in Riga and survived World War II after being shanghaied by the German merchant marine. He immigrated to Canada in the '50s, and was the chief engineer on a Canadian Coast Guard icebreaker for most of my childhood, which meant I didn't see him a lot, but when I did we had a special relationship. He was quiet, and sometimes stern, but also taught me by example a lot about living life without compromise. He taught me to use a hammer when I was four, and a power drill when I was ten. He and my mom always supported my not always entirely practical life choices. (You want to travel through Europe by yourself when you're not even finished university? Sure. You want to go to grad school in film? Okay.) He could build stuff from scratch that I wouldn't have tried with a full kit and instructions. (When he put new duct work in the house he and my mother shared a few years ago, he made his own rivets.) And for most of the twenty-odd years after he retired, he'd get up at five in the morning and go for a long walk to start his day.

But he hadn't been well for some time. And he hadn't been able to do much at all for most of the last year. Which was hard for me to see, and I'm sure harder for him to live with. And then on Saturday morning, his heart finally gave up and he collapsed in my parents' living room and was gone before the paramedics could arrive.

I'm glad I had the privilege of being his daughter. I'm sad I never got to know him as well as I'd have liked to. And I'm very grateful that whatever powers control these things saw that the Sweetie and I were there this weekend so that my mother didn't have to face this on her own.

Here's one of the last pictures I took of him, with his only granddaughter:


The Sweetie and I have come back home tonight, but we're going back up north first thing tomorrow for the funeral and to help my mom out with all the things that need to be done. I don't expect to be online much at all for the next week, but I'll be back sometime soon. (And with a piece of good news that I'm going to wait for a better time to announce.)

Comments

[sarren.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry to hear that. *hugs* I'm glad you were able to be ther for your mom.

He sounds like an awesome bloke. Thank you for sharing.

[przed.livejournal.com]

Thanks. I am so glad I could be there for my mom. And yeah, Dad was definitely an awesome bloke.

[msmoat.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry for your loss. What a beautiful post, though, and I hope it did help you to express some of what you're feeling, and why. I am so glad you were there to help your mother, and, oh, what a wonderful photo of your father with Rosalind. All the best in these hard times, for you and your family.

[przed.livejournal.com]

I'm glad I did the post. It was the starting point for the eulogy I wrote and managed, with difficulty, to deliver. I'm glad I forced myself to speak for Dad. He deserved that tribute and so much more.

[green-key.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry to hear about your dad. Peace and strength to you.

[beledibabe.livejournal.com]

My deepest condolences, dear. He sounds like a wonderful man.

[przed.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much.

[sunray45.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry to hear this. ::HUGS:: He sounds like he was a wonderful man and father to you.

That is a beautiful photo of him with Rosalind, and I'm so glad he did get to know her. So very fortunate that you were visiting and could be a help to your Mum.

Take care.

[przed.livejournal.com]

We was definitely a wonderful man, and I'm glad we got at least a few photos of him with Rosalind. And that they knew each other for at least a short time.

[kanders07.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. He sounds like an incredible person. Peace and prayers to you and your family.

[przed.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much. It means a lot.

[gblvr.livejournal.com]

Oh, sweetie...I am so sorry to hear about your father. My thoughts are with you all....

[przed.livejournal.com]

Thanks. It's been a tough week, but we all seem to be holding up okay.

[siskiou.livejournal.com]

My heartfelt condolences! He sounds like a special man.

[przed.livejournal.com]

Thank you. He was a very special man and we'll miss him.

[shayheyred.livejournal.com]

My condolences to you and your mom - I'm glad your dad got to know your wonderful daughter, and from what you say, it sounds like you were lucky, indeed, to have him as your father. My thoughts are with you and your family.

[przed.livejournal.com]

I'm glad he got to know Rosalind, though that's also been unexpectedly hard. Ros keeps asking where Grandpa is, and that's been breaking my heart. Worse was when I told her that Grandpa was gone and I think she finally started to understand a bit.

Thanks for your thoughts.

[laurashapiro.livejournal.com]

I'm very sorry for your loss.

[przed.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

[lilithilien.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry. Have a safe trip - your family is in my thoughts.

[przed.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the good thoughts. It means a lot.

[morgandawn.livejournal.com]

thank you for sharing your father's story. hugs.

[przed.livejournal.com]

hugs back.

[krisserci5.livejournal.com]

My sincerest condolences. No words will make it better but hopefully our well wishes remind you that you are never alone.

[przed.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much, Kris. That means a lot.

[liars-dance.livejournal.com]

I'm thinking of you and your family.

[przed.livejournal.com]

Thank you for your thoughts. It's a great comfort.

[hagsrus.livejournal.com]

I'm very sorry for your loss, but glad that you have such wonderful memories to cherish.

[przed.livejournal.com]

I'm very glad that we have good memories of my dad to hold on to.

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. But your story is lovely, and thank you for sharing it with us. He sounds like a wonderful man.

[przed.livejournal.com]

Thanks, gwyn. He was a great person and I'm going to miss him.

[rosie55.livejournal.com]

My sincere sympathies on the loss of your Dad, I will be thinking of you and all your family.
He sounds a great Dad - gave you those "roots and wings" children need. What a wonderful photograph to treasure, too. Take care of yourself.

[przed.livejournal.com]

Thank you. Dad was definitely special, and I'll definitely treasure that photograph. I hope Ros will carry at least a few good memories of her grandfather with her.

[schnuffi.livejournal.com]

Gods, I don't have the words to tell you how sorry I am, hon. My thoughts are with you and your family *hugs you tight*

[przed.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much. That means a lot. *hugs back*

[caffyolay.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. Your father was clearly a wonderful man who lived a good and full life. It's nice that you have good memories of him and that's a delightful photo of him with Rosalind. Take care.

[przed.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much. It's been a help that we have such good memories of him, but it's still hard.

[kiwisue.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry to hear your sad news, hon. Your father sounds like a fine man - I'm glad he got to know Rosalind before he died. My thoughts go out to you and yours at this time *hugs*

[przed.livejournal.com]

I'm very glad he got to know Ros, and that she was clearly special to him. *hugs back*

[the-cornettist.livejournal.com]

I am so very sorry to hear of your loss, and just listening to your memories of him brought tears to my eyes. He was clearly a very special man. *HUGS*

[przed.livejournal.com]

Thank you. He was definitely a very special man and I'll miss him. *hugs back*

[partners4life.livejournal.com]

I am thinking about you and your family. My condolences.

[przed.livejournal.com]

Thanks for your good thoughts.

[angel-ci5.livejournal.com]

I'm very sorry to hear of your loss, my thoughts are with you and your family at this difficult time. What a lovely photo of him with his granddaughter.

[przed.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much for your concern. It means a lot.

[obelix]

My condolences on your loss. *hugs*

[przed.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much. *hugs back*

[just-ann-now.livejournal.com]

I'm very sorry for you loss, but my heart was warmed to read your lovely tribute to your dad. *hugs*

[przed.livejournal.com]

Thanks. Dad was a great guy and it was helpful for me to write this tribute. *hugs back*