przed: (pros mixed doubles gunrange)
[personal profile] przed
Title: Broken
Fandom: Pros
Notes: I started mulling this over when the [livejournal.com profile] teaandswissroll "challenge" challenge went up, but yet again didn't have time to finish it on deadline. Thanks to [livejournal.com profile] londonronnie for a quick Brit idiom check.


"How are the new agents coming along, Brian?"

The tone was casual, but the expression on George Cowley's face was not. It was the expression of a man with a problem, but one who was determined to hide the fact. He might have managed it, but I know him too well.

"They're promising," I said, determined to reveal nothing until I sussed out what exactly George's problem was. "Benny seems a natural at undercover. And Sally's as hard as the fellas."

"Good, good," George said distractedly and sat down in the rickety, ladder-back chair opposite my desk. He seemed at ease in the uncomfortable thing. I'd bought it at a jumble sale, hoping it would keep agents off balance when they came to see me, but it took more than physical discomfort to put George Cowley off his game. "Any problems you foresee?"

"I'll need to toughen them up, of course, but beyond that..." I shrugged, crossed my arms, and leaned back in my considerably more comfortable chair. I wasn't going to make this easy for George. If he wanted my opinion he was damned well going to have to tell me what this was about. Or who.

"What do you think of Doyle?"

Ah.

I should have known it would be about Doyle. The stroppy bastard was one of George's more creative recruitment choices.

"Well…" I mulled over where to start. "He's got one hell of a temper, and a definite problem with authority."

"A good man, though."

"Very good, if you can harness his talents."

"Can we? Harness his talents?"

"Put him with the right partner and you can. On the other hand, put him with the wrong partner…" I trailed off and let George imagine for himself the havoc a bolshie Ray Doyle could wreak on his precious organization.

"Quite." A master of the understatement, my boss. He folded his hands on the desk in front of him and looked at me with an expression that always boded some mad scheme or other. "I was thinking of putting him with Bodie."

"Bodie?" Master Bodie was another one of George's creative recruitment choices. One who hadn't quite been broken to harness yet. He'd been tried with several partners, and none of them had stuck. Thug was the least of what the last partner had called the man. Everyone had been quite willing to let him work solo the past six months. "Do you think that's wise?"

"Their strengths should complement each other."

"Or their flaws will have them at each other's throats."

George actually had the gall to smile at that.

"I think they'll surprise you, Brian."

"Would you be willing to place a bet on that?" I'm not averse to taking advantage of someone else's bungle, even if that someone is my superior.

"I would indeed. Shall we say a bottle of twenty year old Scotch if they're still together in six months?"

"Together and successful," I clarified.

"Of course."

"Done." I began to consider the best use of a bottle of fine Scotch.




Six months later, there he was, sitting in the same decrepit chair, with what could only be called a smug grin on his face.

I didn't even wait for him to ask for it, just pulled out the bottle and clunked it on the desk in front of him. I'd had the Scotch for two months, ever since those two maniacs had taken out a nest of bombers single handed and I'd realized I'd lost the bet.

"I was expecting you to put up a fight," George said as he took hold of the bottle, cradling it like another might hold a treasured child.

"They're still together, and they're good."

"How good?" Never satisfied with success, George was always pushing to make things better. It's why we get on so well.

"Very good. Give them a year and they'll be your best."

Not an effusive man, George Cowley, but I could see he was proud of them and all they'd accomplished since he'd partnered them. I almost hated to say the next words, but I knew I had to. "You'll want to watch them, though. Make sure they don't get too close."

"They won't." Curt. Certain. He stood, hefting the bottle in his hand. "Thank you for this, Brian." Then he was gone.

I wish I was as certain about those lads as George. But I've seen the way they look at each other.

You see, it wasn't just being shot that broke my nerve. Wasn't my own pain that shattered my confidence. There was someone else with me that night. Someone else who'd been shot and dumped into Hong Kong harbour. Someone who hadn't been fished out of those oily waters. Not alive, anyway.

Mark Leung had been my liaison with the Hong Kong police. We worked well together, worked miracles together. And in spite of the secrecy it took, we became more than colleagues, more than friends. We looked at each other like Bodie and Doyle did. Until that night when I'd been crushed and he'd been killed.

George had hired me to make sure his people were the best, to make sure they were hard. To make sure they didn't crack like I'd done. And part of that was taking care they didn't get involved with each other. Because if you have agents that are too close, that are that close, and one of them dies...

I didn't want to see them go through what I'd experienced.

Not that they'd listen to me, not the Bisto Kids. Pain in the arse to deal with, the pair of them; always getting up your nose. Always know better than everyone else. Always up for a challenge.

I just hope that when it all goes wrong, and in our trade it always goes wrong, I'm not the one George calls in to pick up the pieces.

I've already had my will, and my heart broken. I don't want it done again by proxy.

Date: 2009-09-30 09:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sc-fossil.livejournal.com
Oh, I love this look at Macklin! How cool the way you explained his comment about losing his nerve. A dead lover, poor thing. He seems like a person who does care that the lads survive, and I can see how this would make him push them to the very brink to get them into top form. Excellent, P. I swear, you never disappoint me when I see your name attached to a story.

Date: 2009-10-01 03:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] przed.livejournal.com
Awww, you're going to embarrass me, Kat. Very glad you liked it. I'm still not sure why Macklin popped into my head, but it was kinda fun to learn his story.

Date: 2009-09-30 09:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] saintvic.livejournal.com
I really like seeing how others see Bodie and Doyle, either separately or together, and I really enjoyed this. The way Cowley has judged and evaluated them and is so positive they will work well together shows us little bits of their character and how he operates as well. And I think giving us some insight into a back story for Brian both fleshes out his character very well and highlights the possible developments with B and D as well. Oh and I especially love the idea of a bolshie Ray causing havoc *grin*.

Date: 2009-10-01 03:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] przed.livejournal.com
I've always enjoyed the occasional outside POV story, and it's certainly fun to write them. And it was nice to give Brian a bit more back story. Appalling hair apart, I do rather like him as a character.

Date: 2009-09-30 10:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mysteriousaliwz.livejournal.com
"You'll want to watch them, though. Make sure they don't get too close."

"They won't."


Well, well, looks like Cowley's infallibility has been somewhat overrated *g*

Date: 2009-10-01 03:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] przed.livejournal.com
The Cow is either fallible or in denial. I shall leave it to you to decide which. *g*

Date: 2009-10-01 12:59 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] robeau.livejournal.com
It is a tremendous follow up to Macklin's story in canon and the comparison makes a great story.

Date: 2009-10-01 03:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] przed.livejournal.com
It was interesting to give Macklin a bit more back story. Very glad it worked for you.

Date: 2009-10-01 01:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sunray45.livejournal.com
It is interesting to hear Macklin's POV of Cowley as well as Bodie and Doyle. Cowley won the first round, but Macklin will win the second.

Like the way you've rounded out Macklin's story too. He didn't just lose his nerve because of injury but because he lost his lover. So sad.

Thank you.

Date: 2009-10-01 03:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] przed.livejournal.com
Proof that Cowley's people sometimes know better than he does.

I'm glad to give Macklin a bit more depth. He's a character I've always been intrigued by.

Date: 2009-10-01 04:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] draycevixen.livejournal.com

I really like this window in to how Cowley and Macklin operate together. The back story for Macklin is great, I've always wanted to know more about Hong Kong and the details such as Macklin deliberately picking such an uncomfortable guest chair are great.

Very nice take on the prompt. Thanks! ♥

Date: 2009-10-01 12:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] przed.livejournal.com
I reckon that Macklin is looking out for every opportunity to make the agents in his tender care uncomfortable. *g*

And I'm always ready to use Hong Kong in stories. (I adore Hong Kong.) If I thought I could get away with it, I'd write a story just about Macklin in HK. Hmmm, wonder if I could work the lads into that...

Date: 2009-10-01 03:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gritsinmisery.livejournal.com
Dooooo Eeeeet!!!!!

Date: 2009-10-01 09:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] draycevixen.livejournal.com

Maybe new evidence emerges of who was responsible for Mark Leung's death and Macklin has to go. Somewhere along the line Macklin and Bodie have become mates -- I see them as having a lot of the same background -- and so Bodie goes with him. A jealous Doyle who thinks there's more to Macklin/Bodie than meets the eye gets the chance and follows them... and then further complications arise as Esther fits in to the frame.

All the very long way around of saying GO FOR IT! *g*

Date: 2009-10-02 02:55 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] przed.livejournal.com
If I just get out of the way, y'all are going to have written the whole thing for me. *g*

::scribbles story notes quickly before you all take it back::

Date: 2009-10-02 03:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] draycevixen.livejournal.com

Oooh I saw this comment so popped over for a shufti. I didn't even know I was tag teaming you with Grits... She must have sneaked the pokey stick out of my bag while I wasn't looking. Perhaps Grits and I can work out a schedule... Oh Grits!

I love to plot... Erm, write plot that is, that's why I write mysteries.

Date: 2009-10-02 03:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] przed.livejournal.com
Tried to respond to this last night, just as LJ went down for a service update. Grrr.

I'm with you on the plot thing. Pre-LJ, I pretty much exclusively wrote long, plotty, case-driven stories. Mind you, that was a bit easier when I was only writing three 20,000 word zine stories a year, versus doing more frequent but smalled scaled fic online.

Hopefully this HK idea will get me going on a longer story. Since the bloody novel got done, I've been champing at the bit to do another longer piece, and hopefully one that doesn't take 8 plus years to finish.

Date: 2009-10-05 08:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] przed.livejournal.com
As I just told Grits, the first scene is written.

Yikes!

Date: 2009-10-05 08:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] draycevixen.livejournal.com

Bwahahahahahahhahahhahaha! Erm... sorry. I like to practice my evil laugh whenever the opportunity arises. *g*

Date: 2009-10-05 09:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] draycevixen.livejournal.com

Tag teaming FTW. *g*

Date: 2009-10-02 10:19 pm (UTC)
ext_137604: (Default)
From: [identity profile] smirra.livejournal.com
As said before interesting insight in Macklins work for Cowley.
And yes please it, Macklin in Hong Kong sounds good. I always had a soft spot for him and didn't he look suspicious, too? Also stories with the lads somewhere else that London are a highlight for me, I'd like to see more of it.

Date: 2009-10-05 08:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] przed.livejournal.com
Well, the first scene is written, and I've plotted the next few out in my head. *g*

Date: 2009-10-01 08:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] constant-muse.livejournal.com
That was delightful, Macklin's POV and his history too. Macklin and Cowley chatting in Cowley's office - I love the details like Macklin's chairs, and Cowley with the scotch! Very human and real.
And Macklin knows about Bodie and Doyle because he knows those looks, he's been there himself.
Very nice, thank you.

Date: 2009-10-01 12:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] przed.livejournal.com
It's always fun to throw in little details that define character. Like Macklin making the agents miserable with that chair. *g*

Thanks for reading!

Date: 2009-10-01 11:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] miwahni.livejournal.com
Enjoyed looking at the lads through Macklin's perspective, and also liked the way you fleshed Macklin out. Your last line's a stunner, too; ouch.

Date: 2009-10-01 12:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] przed.livejournal.com
I still don't quite know why Macklin popped into my head, but it was interesting viewing the lads through his eyes.

I'm pleased you like the last line. Especially since, as usual, I wasn't sure it worked at all. (I hate writing endings.)

Date: 2009-10-01 01:51 pm (UTC)
ext_9226: (pros2 - snailbones)
From: [identity profile] snailbones.livejournal.com


I love your view of Cowley and Macklin's relationship. I tend to see Cowley as such a lonely figure, and instead you've shown him at ease and understood by Macklin ::happy sigh:: Wonder why he's so sure Doyle and Bodie won't get closer?

Lovely, ta muchly.

Date: 2009-10-01 02:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] przed.livejournal.com
I think of Cowley as having a very circumspect personal life, but having a wide range of professional contacts who have sometimes become friends. There's no way he could set up and maintain an organization like CI5 without allies both high and low.

And is he sure that Doyle and Bodie won't get together? I see him as more shutting that discussion down because he doesn't want to go there. *g*

Date: 2009-10-01 03:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gritsinmisery.livejournal.com
I love "Cow in denial" stories... and I love secondary character stories. And you really should either write that history story, or send the Lads to Hong Kong and work Brian having to go also. *pokey stick applied*

Date: 2009-10-01 03:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] przed.livejournal.com
send the Lads to Hong Kong and work Brian having to go also.

And again I say Hmmmm. Ya know, I think I might have to do this. (Not the least because I live in fear of the pokey stick. *g*)

BTW, it's clearly I crime I don't have you friended. I have rectified that now. *g*

Date: 2009-10-01 04:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gritsinmisery.livejournal.com
Dittos. I stuck you in the category of "general life stuffs and story announcements, but no whinging."

Date: 2009-10-01 04:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] przed.livejournal.com
Groovy!

Date: 2009-10-01 04:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gritsinmisery.livejournal.com
Oh, you could bring in Esther from "Take Away" too, for wee bit 'o conflict...

Date: 2009-10-01 04:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] przed.livejournal.com
Man, this is seeming like a better and better idea. You are clearly an evil temptress.

Date: 2009-10-01 04:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gritsinmisery.livejournal.com
Bwah-hah-hah! *rubs hands together*

("Mine is an evil laugh.")

Date: 2009-10-01 04:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] przed.livejournal.com
Of course, my brain is spinning out all sorts of crazy, plotty ideas, so this is also something you're not going to see for a while.

But you shall see it! Yay for evil plot bunnies and their evil progenitors.

Date: 2009-10-05 08:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] przed.livejournal.com
First scene done.

And man, I have a feeling it's gonna be a long one.

Date: 2009-10-05 09:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gritsinmisery.livejournal.com
I'll just keep swapping places w/ [livejournal.com profile] draycevixen on pokey-stick duty.

GO PRZ!

Date: 2009-10-01 08:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] norfolkdumpling.livejournal.com
What a great use of Macklin, and what a sad history for him. *pets Brian*

I always like to see how the Lads appear through others' eyes. And this was an interesting look at how Cowley and Macklin work to put the teams together too.

Very nicely done - I really enjoyed it. Thanks!

Date: 2009-10-01 08:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] przed.livejournal.com
I'm quite fond of using other CI5 characters, and it was interesting getting inside Macklin's head. I didn't know just how sad his history was going to be, though, until I was well into writing the second half.

Glad you enjoyed it!

Date: 2009-10-01 10:14 pm (UTC)
scherwood: (B&D: Smack~)
From: [personal profile] scherwood
Oooooh, I love it! :D
I've always liked Macklin. *grin**
And this story was GREAT! <3
The POV and everything... *nod, nod*

Date: 2009-10-02 02:55 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] przed.livejournal.com
I've got a fondness for Macklin myself. Obviously. *g*

Glad you liked!

Date: 2009-10-02 05:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] callistosh65.livejournal.com
Great, great perspective on Macklin here. I loved how you tied it to his past and the lads in the present. Very nicely done, my friend.

Date: 2009-10-05 08:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] przed.livejournal.com
Thanks! It was interesting working with his background a bit. (And possibly a bit more in the future. *g*)

Date: 2009-10-05 07:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zana16.livejournal.com
Commenting late; I haven't had time to read my f'list til now...

I very much like this! All through Brian's eyes, and nicely done with his backstory. Thank you!

Date: 2009-10-05 08:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] przed.livejournal.com
I'm behind on the flist myself, courtesy of a dead computer. (At least the techs have figured out that my video card was fried. Now they just have to get the part in. *sigh*)

Very glad to hear you enjoyed seeing a bit of Brian's back story. I wasn't sure how that would go over.

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