The Mom Chronicles

[przed]

Talked to my mom last night. Here's an excerpt of that conversation.

Mom: I did my own dishes today.
Me: What?!
Mom: I was talking to Ida. She had her knee done last year, and she said she did her own dishes. I figured if she could do it, so could I.
Me: Oh dear god...

At least she seems not to have done any damage. And I suppose more activity isn't a bad thing. As long as she doesn't do anything too, um, dumb.

In other news, I've just completed my first phone interview this morning. The job sounds interesting, but they're pretty adamant that I be willing to fully commit to the 75% to 100% travel thing. And when I asked if that meant I wouldn't be home on weekends, the best the HR person could come up with was "Let's assume you'll be home weekends." Not comforting.

I have to get back to the interviewer tomorrow with my decision on whether I want to go forward with the interview process. I'm trying to weigh the "I want a job!" panic against the desire to actually see my daughter grow up. ::sigh::

Comments

[draycevixen.livejournal.com]

Ah yes, our mothers are obviously each other's missing twins. *g*
My mother drove Meals-on-Wheels with a catheter in her because she didn't want to let the "old dears" down, several of whom are *younger* than she is.

As long as they don't start doing a trapeze act I think resting in a way that's out of character for them can be far worse for them in terms of healing and their mental state.

There's probably no harm in going ahead if the job sounds interesting as it's probably in the face-to-face interview that you'll get more idea of what they actually mean by travel and how far that travel is. It's not like you're saying yes to the job right now.

[nakeisha.livejournal.com]

Ah, 'peer' pressure exists all the way through life *g*

You know your mom and my mother-in-law would probably get on very well!

The idea of that kind of travelling sounds horrendous to me. But no one but you and sweetie can make that kind of decision. I know, but I remember the 'panic' feeling the three times I was made redundant.

I hope you don't mind me saying this and it's totally without knowing your situation in any way, beyond what you share here, the only bit of advice/ I can give is unless you really, really, really, really have to, don't rush into something and grab the first job just because it's a job.

Good vibes for the decision making.

[ancastar.livejournal.com]

If you do decide you want to pursue that job, I'd be very clear what your expectations are regarding travel, and I would get any agreement in writing before you take the job. I've seen these travel situations spiral out of control. Also, find out if the travel is local or overnight. Obviously, one is very different than another. :-)

Good luck!

[st-crispins.livejournal.com]

That's moms for you. [just a flesh wound :) ] Someday, you'll be the same way and Roz will be telling you to stop washing your dishes.

As to the job, do you really need the money badly right now or soon? If you do, take the job and see how it works out. Also: does the job seem just too too good an opportunity to pass up? Would you seriously regret not taking it? You can always quit if it gets too much.

On the other hand, if you don't need the money right now, if you think you can hold out, or if the position isn't anything special, then pass. You have good skills and experience; something better will come along. It also may get a bit much for Sweetie to be the full time parent and that may strain your marriage on top of it [unless there would be enough money for more child care].

Speaking from my own experience, I know I sacrificed a part of my career by delaying my diss work and staying on part-time through most of my son's childhood, but I don't regret it. The work of parenting really gets done before age 12. After that, if you haven't given them a good sense of reposnbility and moral structure, it's hard to recoup.

I made a conscious decision to have my son and I didn't want anyone else raising him [except, of course, his father and my mom for back up]. I don't think one needs to sacrifice one's career entirely, and shouldn't because then it puts you in a bad place later on.

I was lucky: I ended up in the place I wanted to be, albeit, after a considerable delay but if I'd not done it, my son would not be who he is.

Of course, you realize, as with all mother things, it's always a damned if you do/damned if you don't.

[sc-fossil.livejournal.com]

You know, honestly, I don't feel at your kidlet's age that this is such a good idea. I'm all for moms and dads being around. If it's one or two nights a week you'll be gone, I'd seriously think about it. However, if you're gone for days on end, I'm not so sure. I know people do it and things work out. Military folks do it for years on end, but... Unless you really want this particular job and it's paying fabulously huge amounts of money (and even then, I'd vote probably not), think about it and talk about it with husby very intensely.

You're such a bright talented woman that I doubt this will be the only job offer you'll have. And even if it is, write down the pros and cons before you make a decision. Is it okay with the family that you could very well miss Roz's birthdays and plays and ball games over the years? Keep in mind that I don't believe in daycare by anybody other than very close relatives, so I'm coming in prejudiced in the first place, if daycare is in the cards. But that's just me.

In the end, what you decide will be what you decide. Eh? *g*

[gritsinmisery.livejournal.com]

Honestly, if the patient isn't feeling a lot of pain, joint-replacement surgery is pretty much a breeze once they recover from being anesthetized (which yeah, takes three or four days.) My mom had both hips done (no, not at the same time) and she'd be "misplacing" her walker within three or four days of coming home from the hospital. *shakes head* The second time around, she was pissed at her body for being tired (from, y'know, being poisoned to the point of being knocked out -- aka anesthesia -- and trying to heal after being sliced open.)

[callistosh65.livejournal.com]

Yours, mine, and Drayce's mum. All separated at birth it seems..*g* And honestly, it really is better to have them clmbing fruit trees, doing dishes and driving vans than wilting and complaining.

And yes, that's a tough decision about the job. But you have to be happy to some extent, hon. And being away from Ros and the Sweetie constantly would not work for you, I think.

But hell, take the interview to the next stage and get more details. Can't hurt, right?

[zebra363.livejournal.com]

Good luck with the job decision!

[the-cornettist.livejournal.com]

I wish I had some pearls of wisdom for you. All I can tell you is I have not once regretted my decision to give up a reasonable-paying steady job to work for myself, enabling me to be with my children more while they still want/need me. I always felt like I missed out on so much of their early years even though I was always there for them at the end of every day, and it made me desperately unhappy.

Good luck with whatever you decide *hugs*

[windrain10.livejournal.com]

I was just going to say, I'm not sure this job w/ the travelling would be ideal right now for you - I saw "100%" in there somewhere. But I see that you kind of already made up your mind to decline it, and I think that's a good move.