przed

Ah yes, our mothers are obviously each other's missing twins. *g*
My mother drove Meals-on-Wheels with a catheter in her because she didn't want to let the "old dears" down, several of whom are *younger* than she is.

As long as they don't start doing a trapeze act I think resting in a way that's out of character for them can be far worse for them in terms of healing and their mental state.

There's probably no harm in going ahead if the job sounds interesting as it's probably in the face-to-face interview that you'll get more idea of what they actually mean by travel and how far that travel is. It's not like you're saying yes to the job right now.

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My mother drove Meals-on-Wheels with a catheter in her because she didn't want to let the "old dears" down, several of whom are *younger* than she is.

That's the kind of thing my mother-in-law would do. In fact when she was taken into hospital after she'd collapsed on Exmoor, when J called to ask how she was the nurse was very diplomatic and said 'she's a spirited lady, isn't she?' When J asked what she was doing the nurse told him she was 'helping the poor old dears, who were at least ten years young than she was'.

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My Mother is a human dynamo... By my very conservative estimate she travelled to 13 different countries last year. My 16 year old nephew finds her exhausting. *g*

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Wow.

Nope, can't match that. But M-i-L has flown to New Zealand on her own two if not three times in her late 80s and is still visiting us in her mid-90s.

I find your mother exhausting just reading about it *g*

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You should try being her daughter. *g* I'm proud of her but she's a constant reminder of what I'm *not* getting done.

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*Giggles*

I'll pass, thanks :-)))

Poor you, I can totally understand how you feel.

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Yep, they're definitely related. (Mom kept helping the woman who was sharing her room, and she was six months younger than mom.)

I think I'm actually going to turn down the job. They pretty much told me the travel is to all parts of North America, remote or not. Considering Ros is now grabbing my hand at bedtime and begging me not to leave, I don't think I want to put her through an absentee mommy.

The second interview also wasn't promising. It's writing financial risk analysis documents, and the one they gave me as a sample to critique made me hyperventilate. (The friend who recommended me for the job is convinced I can do the work, I'm just not sure that I want to.)

Oh, for the perfect job to fall into my lap.

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Ah, 'peer' pressure exists all the way through life *g*

You know your mom and my mother-in-law would probably get on very well!

The idea of that kind of travelling sounds horrendous to me. But no one but you and sweetie can make that kind of decision. I know, but I remember the 'panic' feeling the three times I was made redundant.

I hope you don't mind me saying this and it's totally without knowing your situation in any way, beyond what you share here, the only bit of advice/ I can give is unless you really, really, really, really have to, don't rush into something and grab the first job just because it's a job.

Good vibes for the decision making.

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That generation of women is just amazing.

As for the job, the more I think about it, the more horrendous it sounds. Too bad, because the actually training part sounds right up my alley.

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Indeed they are.

To me it sounds horrendous and with your lovely daughter . . .

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ancastar.livejournal.com

If you do decide you want to pursue that job, I'd be very clear what your expectations are regarding travel, and I would get any agreement in writing before you take the job. I've seen these travel situations spiral out of control. Also, find out if the travel is local or overnight. Obviously, one is very different than another. :-)

Good luck!

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I think I'm going to give it a miss. And if I do take a job that involves any sort of travel, I'm totally getting the amount in writing. (One of the women in my job search seminar was in a job that involved 100% travel, and even six months after she'd been laid off, she looked utterly miserable.)

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st-crispins.livejournal.com

That's moms for you. [just a flesh wound :) ] Someday, you'll be the same way and Roz will be telling you to stop washing your dishes.

As to the job, do you really need the money badly right now or soon? If you do, take the job and see how it works out. Also: does the job seem just too too good an opportunity to pass up? Would you seriously regret not taking it? You can always quit if it gets too much.

On the other hand, if you don't need the money right now, if you think you can hold out, or if the position isn't anything special, then pass. You have good skills and experience; something better will come along. It also may get a bit much for Sweetie to be the full time parent and that may strain your marriage on top of it [unless there would be enough money for more child care].

Speaking from my own experience, I know I sacrificed a part of my career by delaying my diss work and staying on part-time through most of my son's childhood, but I don't regret it. The work of parenting really gets done before age 12. After that, if you haven't given them a good sense of reposnbility and moral structure, it's hard to recoup.

I made a conscious decision to have my son and I didn't want anyone else raising him [except, of course, his father and my mom for back up]. I don't think one needs to sacrifice one's career entirely, and shouldn't because then it puts you in a bad place later on.

I was lucky: I ended up in the place I wanted to be, albeit, after a considerable delay but if I'd not done it, my son would not be who he is.

Of course, you realize, as with all mother things, it's always a damned if you do/damned if you don't.

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I'm sure I'll be driving Ros nuts some day.

And as for the job, I think I'm going to turn it down. My package was big enough that I can take some time to find the right job, but man, it's hard turning down something.

I think I'm going to do the same with the other job, on account of the writing of financial docs looks like it would be as exciting as making paint dry and would make me miserable. I don't do boredom well. I need variety, and human interaction, and fun things to learn.

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sc-fossil.livejournal.com

You know, honestly, I don't feel at your kidlet's age that this is such a good idea. I'm all for moms and dads being around. If it's one or two nights a week you'll be gone, I'd seriously think about it. However, if you're gone for days on end, I'm not so sure. I know people do it and things work out. Military folks do it for years on end, but... Unless you really want this particular job and it's paying fabulously huge amounts of money (and even then, I'd vote probably not), think about it and talk about it with husby very intensely.

You're such a bright talented woman that I doubt this will be the only job offer you'll have. And even if it is, write down the pros and cons before you make a decision. Is it okay with the family that you could very well miss Roz's birthdays and plays and ball games over the years? Keep in mind that I don't believe in daycare by anybody other than very close relatives, so I'm coming in prejudiced in the first place, if daycare is in the cards. But that's just me.

In the end, what you decide will be what you decide. Eh? *g*

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I'm pretty much thinking the same thing.

My dad was Coast Guard, and back in the 60s and 70s that meant we didn't see him for months at a time. I still don't know how my parents handled it, and I've always sworn I wouldn't have a career that demanded the same sort of absences.

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gritsinmisery.livejournal.com

Honestly, if the patient isn't feeling a lot of pain, joint-replacement surgery is pretty much a breeze once they recover from being anesthetized (which yeah, takes three or four days.) My mom had both hips done (no, not at the same time) and she'd be "misplacing" her walker within three or four days of coming home from the hospital. *shakes head* The second time around, she was pissed at her body for being tired (from, y'know, being poisoned to the point of being knocked out -- aka anesthesia -- and trying to heal after being sliced open.)

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Sounds like my mom. She's been sleeping a lot, and then complaining about it. (I keep pointing out that her body needs to do a lot of healing, and needs the extra sleep to get it done.)

I'm hoping she's going to have the same easy time of it. I just called, and her foot's become bruised. She's got to go see the surgeon tomorrow. Looks like I'll be making a flying trip up north to make sure everything's okay.

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callistosh65.livejournal.com

Yours, mine, and Drayce's mum. All separated at birth it seems..*g* And honestly, it really is better to have them clmbing fruit trees, doing dishes and driving vans than wilting and complaining.

And yes, that's a tough decision about the job. But you have to be happy to some extent, hon. And being away from Ros and the Sweetie constantly would not work for you, I think.

But hell, take the interview to the next stage and get more details. Can't hurt, right?

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I find myself pondering whether the world would simply spin off its axis if we put all three of them together in the same place... Eeeek! *G*

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I find myself pondering whether the world would simply spin off its axis if we put all three of them together in the same place

It just might at that. *g*

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Definitely separated at birth. (She's just had her foot bruise unexpectedly, but isn't sure she wants to "bother" the surgeon. Oy. Looks like I'll be making a flying visit up north to make sure she's okay.)

As for the job, I'm thinking it's a bad idea. Ros put a death grip on my tonight when I went to leave the room at bedtime. No one knows how to lay a guilt trip like a 3-year-old.

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zebra363.livejournal.com

Good luck with the job decision!

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Thanks. I think I'm going to turn the job down, though the practical side of me keeps screaming "it's a paycheque!" ::sigh::

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the-cornettist.livejournal.com

I wish I had some pearls of wisdom for you. All I can tell you is I have not once regretted my decision to give up a reasonable-paying steady job to work for myself, enabling me to be with my children more while they still want/need me. I always felt like I missed out on so much of their early years even though I was always there for them at the end of every day, and it made me desperately unhappy.

Good luck with whatever you decide *hugs*

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Though I was swaying that way, I think your comment has put me over the edge.

I've been considering starting my own small training business, and I do have the leisure to actually start working towards it. And I don't have to stop applying for corporate jobs in the meantime. One that don't require stupid amounts of travel. (Time enough for that when the Ros is in uni.)

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windrain10.livejournal.com

I was just going to say, I'm not sure this job w/ the travelling would be ideal right now for you - I saw "100%" in there somewhere. But I see that you kind of already made up your mind to decline it, and I think that's a good move.

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