So, the good news is I'm not in jail...

[przed]

The bad news is I got detained at the border on my way to MediaWest. For an hour and a half.

It all started when the officer at U.S. customs asked me to pop my trunk. Since I was carrying 20 copies of my vids, I knew I was in trouble. When she asked me to pull over to the side, I knew I was in big trouble.

Customs Dude: So, what's on the disks?
Me: Music videos I've made.
Customs Dude: Is this copyrighted material?
Me: Uhhhh.

Needless to say, this did not go well. Just try and explain song vids and fandom to a nice, clean-cut, young customs dude. While your adrenal glands are going into overdrive.

Customs Dude: Why do you make these videos?
Me: Ummm...
Customs Dude: How did you start doing this?
Me: I honestly have no idea how to answer that. Have you got 3 hours?

Then they stuck me in a little plastic chair in the lobby while they thoroughly searched my car.

Customs Dude: Is there anything I should know about in the car? Any weapons, explosives drugs?
Me: Um, no.

Then left me waiting longer while they watched the vids.

Customs Dude: We're going to have to refer this to a senior officer.

Customs dudes and dudettes file in and out of the office where they've taken the disk. At one point, three older customs dudes, complete with typical cop moustaches, stand at the back of the office and stare at me for ten minutes. All the while, I'm playing nightmare scenarios in my head. What if they confiscate the vids? What if they confiscate my car? What if they arrest me and THROW ME IN JAIL?

At one point, I start cycling through what's on the disks. I don't think there's anything too bad, until I realize the new vid is on the disk. The one called Pop A Boner. The one will lots and lots of male nudity and several shots of boys kissing boys. The adrenaline in my system hits record levels.

Finally, after an hour and a half, the nice, clean-cut, young customs dude comes back with the duffel containing my vids. And gives it back to me.

Customs Dude: We're going to give them back to you but...
Me: Don't do it again.
Customs Dude: Yeah. Basically. And if you want to do it again, mail the disks ahead.
Me: Um, okay.

So, I get in my car, drive to the first rest stop, leave a hysterical message on my sweetie's voicemail and do the rest of the drive to Lansing.

Fortunately, the rest of the con was fabulous and amazing, but I really could have done with a better start.

And at least I'm not in jail.

Comments

[sooguy.livejournal.com]

Wow! I never thought about the danger you run of going to the con each year.

How long have you been going and this is the first time this is happened?

Yikes - you can be sure they've flagged your license plate now. Glad they didn't throw you in the clink!

So how did the vid and accompanying story go over at the con?

Glad you're home safe.

[beledibabe.livejournal.com]

Jesus H. Tap-dancing Christ!!!

I'd like to apologize for the xenophobia currently running rampant in my (well, I didn't vote the fuckers in, but I suppose I should take responsibility anyway) government.

Damn. I'm glad you're okay and had a good time at the con.

[the-cornettist.livejournal.com]

I am so glad to hear that it all worked out eventually. I always find customs scary dudes. Even when you don't have song vids for a convention on you.

Still, I'd have chipped in for your bail money. Assuming they'd let you have bail of course...

[gilda-elise.livejournal.com]

Oh my god! I can't even imagine what I'd do in a similar circumstance. Glad the rest of your trip was wonderful!

[stewardess.livejournal.com]

Holy fuck! Argh!

[stewardess.livejournal.com]

By the way, if you did mail it, it would get here promptly and unpawed. So why the big fricking deal at the border? Ridiculous!

[elke-tanzer.livejournal.com]

OMFG. I'm so glad you're all right.

[zebra363.livejournal.com]

Yikes. What a scary experience!!

[tovalentin.livejournal.com]

Holy shit, P. I wonder why on earth they decided to pull you, of all people, over? Must have seen that psychotic gleam in your eye. I told you to keep your sunglasses on. *g*

God. I would have been sick to my stomach with nerves. You poor guy.

[laurashapiro.livejournal.com]

OMG, how *awful*.

{{{P}}}

You've scared the pants off me, I don't mind telling ya. I'm really glad you came through it okay, but my GOD.

[agentxpndble.livejournal.com]

Holy shit! The things you don't think about until it's too late...! Glad you came through it without jail time or brutalization or anything. Gah!

I would hope that your vids would be considered too much on the artistic expression/art side of things for you to be in danger of copyright violation or bootlegging but geez... Close call! When I think of all the times I travel with *copies* of my shows/movies, I shudder... I could so easily do prison time for that.

Glad you're safe and sound and back home!

[(Anonymous)]

And suddenly I have memories of that scene in 'Highway 61' where Valerie Buhagiar gets stopped at the border by Jello....

Nads

[faramir-boromir.livejournal.com]

It's that "five years and up to $250,000" bit that would have me worried.

Actually, since it is for humorous purposes, I suppose it *might* come under the Fair Use part of the Copyright Act. Maybe. *crosses fingers*

*still grinning like an idiot from seeing Pop a Boner*

[przed.livejournal.com]

Oh, trust me, I'm totally aware of the fact that I could get stopped every time I go to MW. Considering that this was my 11th year, I suppose I should be lucky they haven't hit me before now.

But yeah, you just know they've got my licence recorded. I won't be crossing at Sarnia again for a while.

[przed.livejournal.com]

Apology accepted. Not that I blame you. *g*

I'm considering myself very lucky to have gotten away with a warning, and I'll be making very sure I cross the border with nothing controversial from here on in. 'Cause you just know they've got my name entered in some computer somewhere now.

[przed.livejournal.com]

I try to act calm around the customs dudes, but apparently I wasn't calm enough this time 'round. I'll be careful next time.

And now I know who to hit up for bail money. *g*

[przed.livejournal.com]

Well, I've found out I'd make a lousy spy. A hint of a problem and I folded like a house of cards. UNCLE and CI5 would never take me. *g*

[przed.livejournal.com]

The fact that the customs dude told me how to get around the border issue just made the whole thing that much more surreal.

[przed.livejournal.com]

Thanks. I'm very relieved myself.

[przed.livejournal.com]

Very, very scary. I didn't really sleep that night.

On the positive side, I can see the funny aspects now.

[przed.livejournal.com]

It's 'cause I'm so threatening looking, I know.

And yeah, at one point I honestly thought I was close to throwing up.

[przed.livejournal.com]

It was very much not fun.

I'm going to be very careful with physical copies of the vids. And I may be re-thinking the website.

[przed.livejournal.com]

I've actually thought about it any time I've carried vids across the border, but I've never been stopped before. Never again, man.

Vids could maybe, possibly be covered under the fair use provisions of copyright law, but it's a stretch. Fortunately, the studios mostly seem to realize that it's a no win scenario if they try to prosecute us and haven't hit any vidder with more than a C&D letter.

Ah, the things I do for my hobby.

Re: Glad you're safe and sound and back home!

[przed.livejournal.com]

It's time to re-visit the collect works of Bruce MacDonald, I think. *g*

[przed.livejournal.com]

I think we're all depending on that Fair Use part. Of course, not all my vids are humorous, so it's not a sure thing.

I picked up your zine, and we also found the magnet you bought for your friend in Diana's room. I've got them both here so you can either pick 'em up or I can mail 'em off.