Why It's a Good Thing the Sweetie Doesn’t Write Fanfic

[przed]

The Sweetie might not be a slash fan himself, but he takes a certain pleasure in pointing out slashiness where he finds it and in coming up with crazy slash pairings and story ideas. He seems to be outdoing himself in this when it comes to Take That.

This probably all started last week when I started quizzing him to see how much TT information he'd absorbed just by being exposed to me.

Me: So do you know any of their names?
Sweetie: Well, there's the Duck Man. (Note: The Sweetie calls Howard Donald the Duck Man because he says he has the name of two ducks. He considers this amusing. Another Note: The Sweetie shares one of those names.)
Me: ::gives Sweetie the evil eye::
Sweetie: Okay, Howard Donald.
Me: Okay, who else.
Sweetie: Um, Jason Orange.
Me: And…
Sweetie: I don't know. The other ones.
Me: Heh. You know, Howard and Jason are usually the ones who gets called the other ones.
Sweetie: Hey, I've got an idea. Why don't you write a story called Duck à L'Orange.
Me: No!
Sweetie: Please!
Me: Absolutely not!
Sweetie: Pretty please!

He kept up the begging. For a while. I'll spare you the details, but you get the idea.


Then, last night, as we were both collapsing, he really outdid himself.

Me: I just finished writing OT3 smut!
Sweetie: Who with?
Me: Who do you think?
Sweetie: Which members of Take That? No, wait! How about two members of Take That and a member of Oasis.
Me: Ah, but which member of Oasis? (I know. I shouldn't encourage him.)
Sweetie: Let's say Noel. I know! It should be a vampire AU. Noel's a vampire. Robbie can be his Renfield. And he's trying to corrupt another member of Take That. Who's the most innocent one?
Me: That would be Mark. Sort of.
Sweetie: So they're trying to corrupt Mark. Oh, and how about all those '90s BritPop bands are also vampire clans, and they're all trying to get members of Take That to join them
Me: O_O
Sweetie: Damon Albarn's a vampire, and so is Jarvis Cocker. Oh, man, I wished I wrote. I'd totally write this.
Me: I'm glad you don't.
Sweetie: C'mon, you have to admit it would totally work. It would practically write itself.
Me: The scary thing is, you're kinda right.


Apparently he's not letting go of the vampire thing, because he brought it up at dinner again today.

Sweetie: So, I've been thinking about the vampire AU.
Me: Really?
Sweetie: Yeah. I've been trying to match up members of Take That with the BritPop bands. Is there one of them who's intellectual and snotty.
Me: Well, Jason's the intellectual one, but he's not snotty. None of them is really snotty.
Sweetie: Okay, he should totally be in Blur. They can convert him and make him be snotty. That or he can end up in Pulp.
Me: Okaaaay.
Sweetie: I'm just trying to figure out if the Take That guys should be good guys, or if they should be totally evil. It could work either way.
Me: You're spending too much time thinking about this, you realize?

The best part is, he DOESN'T LIKE TAKE THAT. At all. I've totally infected his brain. Bwahahaha.

Mind you, if I start writing a TT vampire AU, you'll know where it came from.

Comments

[soundofthesurf.livejournal.com]

\o/ I've been grinning madly all through reading your entry! So much, my face hurts a little now! *g* Tell the sweetie I love him! Muchly! Not so much for the duck-joke (Yawn! It's as old as Howard himself, so it's pretty old. *g*) Also not for the Duck à L'Orange-joke (More yawn! Second oldes joke, about as old as Donorage, so that would make it a 23-old-joke. (God, they could have grown-up kids by now if only....!)) But I will forever appreciate that he knew the names of "the Muppets in the back" first and called the others "the others". Let's face it: your sweetie is pretty much perfect. You are truly to be envied. :D

And his continuous thoughts about the Britpop-vampire-AU! *flails* Sooooo adorable! Seriously, what have you done to him? How did you do that?!?! You'd have to feed him a bit more background information, methinks - none of the Britpop bands would have ever teamed up with TT or tried to make one of them one of them. Never ever. Not even Robbie after he started being cool (i.e. obviously taking drugs and not being able/not willing to hide this anymore). Maybe Radiohead would've - but they're not really Britpop, they're a league of their own, so....Anyways it would need a really good explanation as to why they team up with any of the lads - that could get psychologically interesting...
I do fully agree with the sweetie that Blur would've managed to make Jason snotty. Not so sure about Pulp - I don't think Jarvis would accept anyone as pretty and insane as him in his band. *g*

I love how you've infected his brain - who knows what else he comes up with? Goodness, you are married to a TT-slash-muse! You lucky lucky lucky girl!!

And please, start writing this vampire AU!

[przed.livejournal.com]

I have informed the Sweetie of your admiration. And also that his Duck à l'Orange joke is not original. (I figured someone must have done that ages ago, but hadn't seen it yet.)

I will forever appreciate that he knew the names of "the Muppets in the back" first and called the others "the others".

This is, of course, entirely an indication of which members of the band get talked about in our house most frequently. ;-)

As for the BritPop vampire AU, I didn't have to do anything to him. He came like that. Which is why he's so awesome. (He was developing the vampire mythology further this morning, because he is just that big a nut.)

I don't think Jarvis would accept anyone as pretty and insane as him in his band. *g*

See, I think of all of them, Jarvis would be the most accepting of Jason's insanity, because he's pretty insane himself. *g*

As for the Sweetie being a TT-slash-muse, I don't think that's quite is, since most of his ideas are utterly, utterly mad. But at least he's slash-friendly.

And please, start writing this vampire AU!

Nooooo! That would only encourage him. =:-o