Why It's a Good Thing the Sweetie Doesn’t Write Fanfic

[przed]

The Sweetie might not be a slash fan himself, but he takes a certain pleasure in pointing out slashiness where he finds it and in coming up with crazy slash pairings and story ideas. He seems to be outdoing himself in this when it comes to Take That.

This probably all started last week when I started quizzing him to see how much TT information he'd absorbed just by being exposed to me.

Me: So do you know any of their names?
Sweetie: Well, there's the Duck Man. (Note: The Sweetie calls Howard Donald the Duck Man because he says he has the name of two ducks. He considers this amusing. Another Note: The Sweetie shares one of those names.)
Me: ::gives Sweetie the evil eye::
Sweetie: Okay, Howard Donald.
Me: Okay, who else.
Sweetie: Um, Jason Orange.
Me: And…
Sweetie: I don't know. The other ones.
Me: Heh. You know, Howard and Jason are usually the ones who gets called the other ones.
Sweetie: Hey, I've got an idea. Why don't you write a story called Duck à L'Orange.
Me: No!
Sweetie: Please!
Me: Absolutely not!
Sweetie: Pretty please!

He kept up the begging. For a while. I'll spare you the details, but you get the idea.


Then, last night, as we were both collapsing, he really outdid himself.

Me: I just finished writing OT3 smut!
Sweetie: Who with?
Me: Who do you think?
Sweetie: Which members of Take That? No, wait! How about two members of Take That and a member of Oasis.
Me: Ah, but which member of Oasis? (I know. I shouldn't encourage him.)
Sweetie: Let's say Noel. I know! It should be a vampire AU. Noel's a vampire. Robbie can be his Renfield. And he's trying to corrupt another member of Take That. Who's the most innocent one?
Me: That would be Mark. Sort of.
Sweetie: So they're trying to corrupt Mark. Oh, and how about all those '90s BritPop bands are also vampire clans, and they're all trying to get members of Take That to join them
Me: O_O
Sweetie: Damon Albarn's a vampire, and so is Jarvis Cocker. Oh, man, I wished I wrote. I'd totally write this.
Me: I'm glad you don't.
Sweetie: C'mon, you have to admit it would totally work. It would practically write itself.
Me: The scary thing is, you're kinda right.


Apparently he's not letting go of the vampire thing, because he brought it up at dinner again today.

Sweetie: So, I've been thinking about the vampire AU.
Me: Really?
Sweetie: Yeah. I've been trying to match up members of Take That with the BritPop bands. Is there one of them who's intellectual and snotty.
Me: Well, Jason's the intellectual one, but he's not snotty. None of them is really snotty.
Sweetie: Okay, he should totally be in Blur. They can convert him and make him be snotty. That or he can end up in Pulp.
Me: Okaaaay.
Sweetie: I'm just trying to figure out if the Take That guys should be good guys, or if they should be totally evil. It could work either way.
Me: You're spending too much time thinking about this, you realize?

The best part is, he DOESN'T LIKE TAKE THAT. At all. I've totally infected his brain. Bwahahaha.

Mind you, if I start writing a TT vampire AU, you'll know where it came from.

Comments

[soundofthesurf.livejournal.com]

\o/ I've been grinning madly all through reading your entry! So much, my face hurts a little now! *g* Tell the sweetie I love him! Muchly! Not so much for the duck-joke (Yawn! It's as old as Howard himself, so it's pretty old. *g*) Also not for the Duck à L'Orange-joke (More yawn! Second oldes joke, about as old as Donorage, so that would make it a 23-old-joke. (God, they could have grown-up kids by now if only....!)) But I will forever appreciate that he knew the names of "the Muppets in the back" first and called the others "the others". Let's face it: your sweetie is pretty much perfect. You are truly to be envied. :D

And his continuous thoughts about the Britpop-vampire-AU! *flails* Sooooo adorable! Seriously, what have you done to him? How did you do that?!?! You'd have to feed him a bit more background information, methinks - none of the Britpop bands would have ever teamed up with TT or tried to make one of them one of them. Never ever. Not even Robbie after he started being cool (i.e. obviously taking drugs and not being able/not willing to hide this anymore). Maybe Radiohead would've - but they're not really Britpop, they're a league of their own, so....Anyways it would need a really good explanation as to why they team up with any of the lads - that could get psychologically interesting...
I do fully agree with the sweetie that Blur would've managed to make Jason snotty. Not so sure about Pulp - I don't think Jarvis would accept anyone as pretty and insane as him in his band. *g*

I love how you've infected his brain - who knows what else he comes up with? Goodness, you are married to a TT-slash-muse! You lucky lucky lucky girl!!

And please, start writing this vampire AU!

[moth2fic.livejournal.com]

See, this is why I just never mention my writing to Mr Moth - my brain would collapse from the amount of 'ideas' he'd keep pushing at me. Daughter (who also writes slash) agrees with me wholeheartedly.

I would surprised if the vampire theme was not being written already. It has certainly infected other areas of bandom. You might as well join in!!

[snailbones.livejournal.com]

Oh my - he's scarily into it, isn't he? *hg*

[przed.livejournal.com]

I have informed the Sweetie of your admiration. And also that his Duck à l'Orange joke is not original. (I figured someone must have done that ages ago, but hadn't seen it yet.)

I will forever appreciate that he knew the names of "the Muppets in the back" first and called the others "the others".

This is, of course, entirely an indication of which members of the band get talked about in our house most frequently. ;-)

As for the BritPop vampire AU, I didn't have to do anything to him. He came like that. Which is why he's so awesome. (He was developing the vampire mythology further this morning, because he is just that big a nut.)

I don't think Jarvis would accept anyone as pretty and insane as him in his band. *g*

See, I think of all of them, Jarvis would be the most accepting of Jason's insanity, because he's pretty insane himself. *g*

As for the Sweetie being a TT-slash-muse, I don't think that's quite is, since most of his ideas are utterly, utterly mad. But at least he's slash-friendly.

And please, start writing this vampire AU!

Nooooo! That would only encourage him. =:-o

[przed.livejournal.com]

Even if I didn't mention the writing to him, the Sweetie would still inflict his "ideas" on me. (I know this for a fact. He will spontaneously come up with this stuff even if I don't tell him anything about what I'm writing.)

I've gotta figure there's some TT vampire stories out there, because it would work rather well. I just haven't come across it yet. But I don't know about joining in. I don't want to encourage the Sweetie's "inspiration." Who knows what he'd come up with next?

[przed.livejournal.com]

I don't know if he's scarily into so much as he's enjoying spreading the crack. *g*

[kayberrisford.livejournal.com]

Hehe, actually, my other half is equally interactive, and very keen to come with ideas (and he *does* like them -- he saw them twicelast tour !!) I think we can both pat ourselves on the back for getting them so well trained :D :D :D

[kayberrisford.livejournal.com]

PS -- really want that vampire au ;)

[halotolerant.livejournal.com]

*grins* I applaud your sweetie highly both for the member identification (I too approve of his concept of 'the other ones') and the actually rather excellent fic idea (although I think all the Britpop bands would be, like, 'We're too cool and vampirical and edgy and junkie!Hipster for you, Take That! We won't let you into our rituals of sex and blood!' and then Robbie would get involved anyway and Mark would ANGST over whether to let Robbie turn him just so they could stay together and Howard, Jason and Gary would all be like 'Noooooo! Markie!' and then... it really *does* work...)

I have said it before and I will say it again, there should be some support association for 'relatives, partners and close friends of the TT obsessed' because poor things, they need it I think *g*

[przed.livejournal.com]

I'm glad to hear the Sweetie's not the only one. Or perhaps I'm frightened. I'm not sure. *g*

Ooh, and lucky you having another half who actually likes them. The closest I've come is a grudging admission that he likes Shine and Patience, and Kidz had him earwormed for a while. Mind you, he's insisting on coming to Europe with when I go over for the next tour. (And I'm totally going over for the next tour.) But I doubt he'll go to a concert. There'll be the matter of babysitting for a start. Le Ros would no doubt enjoy the show, but I think at 7 she might still be a bit young for a full TT concert experience.

[przed.livejournal.com]

Don't tempt me. It could be quite delicious.

[przed.livejournal.com]

I love that I have him trained to recognize Howard and Jason first.

As for the fic idea, you're not helping! I'm supposed to be vidding, remember! (I've started ripping DVDs, and compiling lyrics sheets, and making lists of footage and everything.) I'm not supposed to be writing epic vampire AUs. (But yeah, this idea just keeps getting better and better. Debauched!Robbie! Angsty!Markie! Worried!Everybodyelse!)

I have said it before and I will say it again, there should be some support association for 'relatives, partners and close friends of the TT obsessed' because poor things, they need it I think *g*

The Sweetie used to be the unofficial head of our local SSSA (Spouses of Slashers Support Association). Mind you, he was always bitter that on outings when we took the significant others along he was sat with the other husbands. He always wanted to sit with the gals and dish on slash and other media, not talk golf and hockey with the guys. ;-)

[kayberrisford.livejournal.com]

Chris loved TT4, but used to loathe Robbie, so I was glad when he was utterly converted by "Shame", and in the end, he loved the Robbie part of the show rather *too* much for my liking! But, yes, I'm lucky. He demanded the Progress DVD as soon as it got out of its box on Xmas day, and has watched it more than I have!!

Aw, yes, maybe 7 is a little young to actually be there, but I bet she loves the DVDs -- *g*! My niece and nephew (3 and 5) are addicted to The Circus. I Progress had Isobel (3) saying it was all a bit scary in SOS, though!!

[kayberrisford.livejournal.com]

I wrote a little one once, and would kill for some more TT bloodsucking action!! Delicious indeed, oh, think of sexy vampire!Jason, and pretty, pale Markie, roaming the night together (and werewolf!Howard howling in the background...)

PLEASE BE TEMPTED!!!!

[przed.livejournal.com]

Oh! Would love to read yours. Would you have a link to it?

Delicious indeed, oh, think of sexy vampire!Jason, and pretty, pale Markie, roaming the night together (and werewolf!Howard howling in the background...)

I think you had me at sexy vampire!Jason. There's a thought! (I'm really going to have to write this at some point, aren't I?)

[kayberrisford.livejournal.com]

Here's the end part, with links to the start. As you'll see, it's a bit open ended. I never wrote the next part that fixed them, because I had so much fun breaking them. Bad me!!!!!!!!!

http://cenea.livejournal.com/80448.html#cutid1

Ohy yes, please do!!!!

[przed.livejournal.com]

The big guy has had a lot longer to get used to Robbie. We watched him from our tent at Glastonbury in '98. (We had no idea who he was. Or who Take That were, for that matter. I remember the two of us reading his bio in the Glasto programme and giggling over the ridiculousness of his story. Now, of course, I see it rather differently.) Then I dragged him to see Robbie the next year when he was trying to crack North America and was playing a small club in Toronto. He doesn't exactly like Robbie, but he'll admit he's one hell of a showman.

I'd love to take Ros to see them eventually. I just hope they stay together until she's ten or so. She does really like the DVDs, though her attention usually fades after about five numbers. She likes the clown medley in The Circus, and Shine in Progress. She was taken with Robbie and Let Me Entertain you, but I think he baffles her. She was also rather too taken with It Only Takes a Minute on Beautiful World when I accidentally let her see it. (It had already started when I realized what a bad idea it was to let her see it. And then she was fascinated and wouldn't let me skip forward. She thought Howard and Jason pole-dancing was hilarious. But then she tried doing the same thing when she was at the park with the Big Guy the next week... ::was mortified::)

[kayberrisford.livejournal.com]

It sounds like you've got about the right level of attention from your sweetie -- at least he won't be nicking your DVDs. Funnily enough, I think Chris was also at Glasto in '98. Not me, mind. I don't do tents and mud (I'd probably not even do it for TT, seeing as it's televised....well, maybe ;))

Hehe, oh dear!! I haven't got my sis beautiful world,so no risk of that yet, although when I put it on when we were all on holiday together once. IOTAM had my Dad waking up rather suddenly, and then he got awfully confused when the boys did it too. He's never quite grown accustomed to TTs gender blurring antics -- or my books!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[przed.livejournal.com]

Fabulous! Shall read it tomorrow. (I'm off to a concert tonight.) And I'll steel myself for them to remain broken at the end. :-(

[kayberrisford.livejournal.com]

Eeeep, yeah, sorry about that.

Just bear in mind, that after the end, Gary drags them all off to a creepy castle somewhere, where Mark becomes even paler and more emperilled, and Jason and Howard look vampirey, sexy and hot, and Gary reads lots of books and finds a way to break some ancient curse, and then they all HAVE TONS OF SEXING!!! The end :)

[przed.livejournal.com]

He definitely won't be nicking my DVDs. (He's usually an enabler when it comes to my vidding, but when I was bitching about how tough it is to get the footage I need to vid TT he was mostly baffled.)

We're campers, but Glasto in '98 was...something. The mud was epic, and we were glad we'd got in late when there was no tenting space nearer the stages. The people who got prime spots woke up on Friday morning with 4 inches of mud and water in their tents. I'd do it again, but I'd go very, very prepared (Wellies, a better rain poncho, the lot.)

Ros was went nuts when the boys reversed the gender roles in IOTAM. She started clapping her hands and said, and I quote, "Mummy, look! The boys are like girls and the girls are like boys!" If nothing else, I like to think it opened her mind to the fluidity of gender roles, which is only a good thing.

Wow, your dad knows about your books? My mom's read my one professionally published story, which had a gay couple at its centre, but my dad passed away just before it came out, and I think it would have freaked him out.

[kayberrisford.livejournal.com]

My dad kind of knows. Not the details ;) That might be a bit too much. My mum would read it, but I haven't encouraged her.

I'd love to read your story, btw! Is it available for download anywhere?

Definitely yay for TT channeling gender fluidity! They've done some sterling work over the years, me thinks!!

Eeep, yes, it might have been reports like that that put me off camping for life!! But I'm sure it must have been worth it for an awesome experience :)

[draycevixen.livejournal.com]

I love these sorts of conversations. *g* I know you'll be surprised to hear that they happen a lot at my house although not about TT.

Oh and I loved the Duck à L'Orange suggestion. He should be encouraged. :D

[przed.livejournal.com]

My story was pretty tame, so I figured my mum could handle it. I'd never let her near my more explicit stuff.

The story was in a POD anthology called Lace and Blade 2, and it's kinda hard to get hold of now. But I have a PDF of my story if you'd like me to send it to you. Just let me know the addy.

Between Ros liking TT, having me for a mum, and having a crush on our gay neighbours, I reckon she's well set for having a healthy view of sexual orientation. :)

Glasto was awesome (we'd gone for Pulp, Blur, and Nick Cave, who were all fab) but trying. It is definitely not for everyone.

[przed.livejournal.com]

I have a feeling your guy and my guy would get on. And also, that they'd be terrifying in what they could get up to.

He should be encouraged. :D

No, he shouldn't! He really shouldn't!

[przed.livejournal.com]

and then they all HAVE TONS OF SEXING!!! The end :)

Well, that's okay then. ;-)

[draycevixen.livejournal.com]

I fear that it would be the end of Western civilization as we know it... but then civilization may be overrated... except for indoor plumbing, I'm keeping that.

[saintvic.livejournal.com]

C'mon, you have to admit it would totally work. It would practically write itself.
I agree that scenario would totally write itself, in fact I can picture it far too clearly *head!desk*.

Plus Duck à L'Orange made me giggle hugely.

You have definitely infected his brain and it is good *nods*.

[przed.livejournal.com]

Not you too! If I starting writing this thing, you realize it's game over for me writing for the Pros BB, right? Because it's going to be a bloody epic.

Mind you, plot collaboration with the Sweetie would be...interesting. (Infecting his brain is too much fun. Especially when it's against his will. *g*)

[przed.livejournal.com]

I was waiting for someone to pick up on that. ;-)

It's with my beta. You'll see it as soon as she's done with it.

[sc-fossil.livejournal.com]

You have the most interesting conversations!

[przed.livejournal.com]

That's one way of putting it. ;-)

Barging into thread

[halotolerant.livejournal.com]

I'd probably not even do it for TT

SUCH A LIE *g* You would go to the South Pole in a tutu if you got to touch Markie when you got there ♥

[halotolerant.livejournal.com]

*flails* I missed this! How did I miss this?

*bounces with excitement*

DO WANT PLZ ♥

[halotolerant.livejournal.com]

I think maybe Sweetie should write the story! *g* Could be an interesting new voice in the TT slash world *evil chuckles*

Vidding is GOOD, we like vidding \o/ *bounces and waves pompoms of encouragement* You have totally addicted me to a-ha btw - 'Minor Earth, Major Sky' and 'You Wanted More' have been on repeat like I don't know what. I already loved 'Cosy Prisons'. elfwhistletree asked when I was going to start writing a-ha slash, then - does such a thing exist? Is there any indication for it? (My current total knowledge of a-ha beyond their songs: They are three guys. One of them is that dude in the Take On Me video)

I would posit that talking about golf is far more worrying than talking about your favourite popstars being gay vampires but apparently opinions vary *g*

Re: Barging into thread

[przed.livejournal.com]

Who wouldn't?!

[przed.livejournal.com]

I just sort of slipped that in there. ;-)

I'm hoping to get my beta back in two or three days, and then all shall be revealed.

Re: Barging into thread

[kayberrisford.livejournal.com]

Yeah, alright, I bow to this. You know me far too well ;)

[kayberrisford.livejournal.com]

I've found Lace and Blade 2 on amazon!! I can order it for a few dollars, so don't worry about the PDF :D For convoluted reasons, I'd quite like to set up an amazon.com account, so if I can get it posted to the UK, then that's will be cool! I'll sort that out later -- I think it looks great :D

Hehe, I'm the same with my mum. Not the more explicit stuff. She betas the tamer stuff, but there's not been too much of that lately ;)

Hmmmmm, well, as Halo pointed out, 'trying' or not, looks like I'll be as Glasto if the boys ever do rock up ;)

[przed.livejournal.com]

Cool. It is a rather lovely anthology, so I'm sure there'll be other stories you'll enjoy. And I hope you'll like mine.

I've been wanting to go back to Glasto, but the Sweetie has been reluctant. However, if the boys ever showed up there, I'd be there like a shot, family in tow. ;-)

Re: Barging into thread

[halotolerant.livejournal.com]

INSANE PEOPLE *g*

Re: Barging into thread

[halotolerant.livejournal.com]

I, obviously, am very sensible, and never ever went to Manchester because I had nothing else to do that weekend. Clearly. ♥

[przed.livejournal.com]

Could be an interesting new voice in the TT slash world *evil chuckles*

You really don't want to be responsible for inflicting him on the TT slash world, do you?

I've got one more story to do (I've decided to write my local TT-obsessed friend a TT story for her birthday, because she's been have H/J dreams that are delicious and inspiring) and then vidding shall commence properly. In the meantime I'm ripping and searching YT for decent footage.

Yay for being addicted to a-ha! And liking the later songs! I reckoned that if you love TT, you'd at least like the Norwegian boys.

Alas, there is utterly no spark between Morten, Magne and Pal to work the slash into. (I got the DVD of their final concert as soon as it came out, and after stuff like the BW disk, it was a serious disappointment. They have separate dressing rooms, spend most of their off-stage time apart, and Magne has to whine and complain to even get them to rehearse a new song together.) Mind you soundofthesurf wrote them as rogue alien hunters in her Progress Live ficathon story and they were fun there.

Talking about golf is extremely worrying, not to mention dull.

[kayberrisford.livejournal.com]

Yay! I can't wait for it to arrive :D

Oooooh, I'll see you there if they do ;D I know Markie used to go quite a bit just to hang out (there are pics as recent as 2007). Ah, that would be fun, to wake up in the morning and find a muddy Markie in the next tent (apart from I think he wussed out and had a caravan in the VIP area!! I even read he once opened a caravan show so they'd lend him one to take!!) Now, if camping involved sharing a luxury caravan with Markie I might become rather keen ;)

[przed.livejournal.com]

You'll have to let me know what you think of the story. (It started life, in a very different shape, as a Pros story set during the Queen's Jubilee. There are virtually no remnants of that left, except the two main characters look rather a lot like Bodie and Doyle.)

Running into a muddy Markie at Glasto would be mind blowing. As for the wussing out, if I had the option of a caravan in the VIP area, I'd take it like a shot. ;-)

[kayberrisford.livejournal.com]

Hehe, you know, I went to an glbt writers convention last year, where basically everyone there was a woman writing m/m romance. When they asked who had converted a fanfic, EVERYONE PUT UP THEIR HANDS ;) I can't wait to read. I think it's a great way to write, as you can get the core of a story written in a relaxed way without the pressure and with the instant hit of feedback, and then later add a bit of character building, or whatever's missing. I can't wait to read :D

That's agreed then. We're all piling in with Markie, whether he likes it or not!!!!