Why It's a Good Thing the Sweetie Doesn’t Write Fanfic

[przed]

The Sweetie might not be a slash fan himself, but he takes a certain pleasure in pointing out slashiness where he finds it and in coming up with crazy slash pairings and story ideas. He seems to be outdoing himself in this when it comes to Take That.

This probably all started last week when I started quizzing him to see how much TT information he'd absorbed just by being exposed to me.

Me: So do you know any of their names?
Sweetie: Well, there's the Duck Man. (Note: The Sweetie calls Howard Donald the Duck Man because he says he has the name of two ducks. He considers this amusing. Another Note: The Sweetie shares one of those names.)
Me: ::gives Sweetie the evil eye::
Sweetie: Okay, Howard Donald.
Me: Okay, who else.
Sweetie: Um, Jason Orange.
Me: And…
Sweetie: I don't know. The other ones.
Me: Heh. You know, Howard and Jason are usually the ones who gets called the other ones.
Sweetie: Hey, I've got an idea. Why don't you write a story called Duck à L'Orange.
Me: No!
Sweetie: Please!
Me: Absolutely not!
Sweetie: Pretty please!

He kept up the begging. For a while. I'll spare you the details, but you get the idea.


Then, last night, as we were both collapsing, he really outdid himself.

Me: I just finished writing OT3 smut!
Sweetie: Who with?
Me: Who do you think?
Sweetie: Which members of Take That? No, wait! How about two members of Take That and a member of Oasis.
Me: Ah, but which member of Oasis? (I know. I shouldn't encourage him.)
Sweetie: Let's say Noel. I know! It should be a vampire AU. Noel's a vampire. Robbie can be his Renfield. And he's trying to corrupt another member of Take That. Who's the most innocent one?
Me: That would be Mark. Sort of.
Sweetie: So they're trying to corrupt Mark. Oh, and how about all those '90s BritPop bands are also vampire clans, and they're all trying to get members of Take That to join them
Me: O_O
Sweetie: Damon Albarn's a vampire, and so is Jarvis Cocker. Oh, man, I wished I wrote. I'd totally write this.
Me: I'm glad you don't.
Sweetie: C'mon, you have to admit it would totally work. It would practically write itself.
Me: The scary thing is, you're kinda right.


Apparently he's not letting go of the vampire thing, because he brought it up at dinner again today.

Sweetie: So, I've been thinking about the vampire AU.
Me: Really?
Sweetie: Yeah. I've been trying to match up members of Take That with the BritPop bands. Is there one of them who's intellectual and snotty.
Me: Well, Jason's the intellectual one, but he's not snotty. None of them is really snotty.
Sweetie: Okay, he should totally be in Blur. They can convert him and make him be snotty. That or he can end up in Pulp.
Me: Okaaaay.
Sweetie: I'm just trying to figure out if the Take That guys should be good guys, or if they should be totally evil. It could work either way.
Me: You're spending too much time thinking about this, you realize?

The best part is, he DOESN'T LIKE TAKE THAT. At all. I've totally infected his brain. Bwahahaha.

Mind you, if I start writing a TT vampire AU, you'll know where it came from.

Comments

[halotolerant.livejournal.com]

*grins* I applaud your sweetie highly both for the member identification (I too approve of his concept of 'the other ones') and the actually rather excellent fic idea (although I think all the Britpop bands would be, like, 'We're too cool and vampirical and edgy and junkie!Hipster for you, Take That! We won't let you into our rituals of sex and blood!' and then Robbie would get involved anyway and Mark would ANGST over whether to let Robbie turn him just so they could stay together and Howard, Jason and Gary would all be like 'Noooooo! Markie!' and then... it really *does* work...)

I have said it before and I will say it again, there should be some support association for 'relatives, partners and close friends of the TT obsessed' because poor things, they need it I think *g*

[przed.livejournal.com]

I love that I have him trained to recognize Howard and Jason first.

As for the fic idea, you're not helping! I'm supposed to be vidding, remember! (I've started ripping DVDs, and compiling lyrics sheets, and making lists of footage and everything.) I'm not supposed to be writing epic vampire AUs. (But yeah, this idea just keeps getting better and better. Debauched!Robbie! Angsty!Markie! Worried!Everybodyelse!)

I have said it before and I will say it again, there should be some support association for 'relatives, partners and close friends of the TT obsessed' because poor things, they need it I think *g*

The Sweetie used to be the unofficial head of our local SSSA (Spouses of Slashers Support Association). Mind you, he was always bitter that on outings when we took the significant others along he was sat with the other husbands. He always wanted to sit with the gals and dish on slash and other media, not talk golf and hockey with the guys. ;-)

[halotolerant.livejournal.com]

I think maybe Sweetie should write the story! *g* Could be an interesting new voice in the TT slash world *evil chuckles*

Vidding is GOOD, we like vidding \o/ *bounces and waves pompoms of encouragement* You have totally addicted me to a-ha btw - 'Minor Earth, Major Sky' and 'You Wanted More' have been on repeat like I don't know what. I already loved 'Cosy Prisons'. elfwhistletree asked when I was going to start writing a-ha slash, then - does such a thing exist? Is there any indication for it? (My current total knowledge of a-ha beyond their songs: They are three guys. One of them is that dude in the Take On Me video)

I would posit that talking about golf is far more worrying than talking about your favourite popstars being gay vampires but apparently opinions vary *g*

[przed.livejournal.com]

Could be an interesting new voice in the TT slash world *evil chuckles*

You really don't want to be responsible for inflicting him on the TT slash world, do you?

I've got one more story to do (I've decided to write my local TT-obsessed friend a TT story for her birthday, because she's been have H/J dreams that are delicious and inspiring) and then vidding shall commence properly. In the meantime I'm ripping and searching YT for decent footage.

Yay for being addicted to a-ha! And liking the later songs! I reckoned that if you love TT, you'd at least like the Norwegian boys.

Alas, there is utterly no spark between Morten, Magne and Pal to work the slash into. (I got the DVD of their final concert as soon as it came out, and after stuff like the BW disk, it was a serious disappointment. They have separate dressing rooms, spend most of their off-stage time apart, and Magne has to whine and complain to even get them to rehearse a new song together.) Mind you soundofthesurf wrote them as rogue alien hunters in her Progress Live ficathon story and they were fun there.

Talking about golf is extremely worrying, not to mention dull.