Why It's a Good Thing the Sweetie Doesn’t Write Fanfic

[przed]

The Sweetie might not be a slash fan himself, but he takes a certain pleasure in pointing out slashiness where he finds it and in coming up with crazy slash pairings and story ideas. He seems to be outdoing himself in this when it comes to Take That.

This probably all started last week when I started quizzing him to see how much TT information he'd absorbed just by being exposed to me.

Me: So do you know any of their names?
Sweetie: Well, there's the Duck Man. (Note: The Sweetie calls Howard Donald the Duck Man because he says he has the name of two ducks. He considers this amusing. Another Note: The Sweetie shares one of those names.)
Me: ::gives Sweetie the evil eye::
Sweetie: Okay, Howard Donald.
Me: Okay, who else.
Sweetie: Um, Jason Orange.
Me: And…
Sweetie: I don't know. The other ones.
Me: Heh. You know, Howard and Jason are usually the ones who gets called the other ones.
Sweetie: Hey, I've got an idea. Why don't you write a story called Duck à L'Orange.
Me: No!
Sweetie: Please!
Me: Absolutely not!
Sweetie: Pretty please!

He kept up the begging. For a while. I'll spare you the details, but you get the idea.


Then, last night, as we were both collapsing, he really outdid himself.

Me: I just finished writing OT3 smut!
Sweetie: Who with?
Me: Who do you think?
Sweetie: Which members of Take That? No, wait! How about two members of Take That and a member of Oasis.
Me: Ah, but which member of Oasis? (I know. I shouldn't encourage him.)
Sweetie: Let's say Noel. I know! It should be a vampire AU. Noel's a vampire. Robbie can be his Renfield. And he's trying to corrupt another member of Take That. Who's the most innocent one?
Me: That would be Mark. Sort of.
Sweetie: So they're trying to corrupt Mark. Oh, and how about all those '90s BritPop bands are also vampire clans, and they're all trying to get members of Take That to join them
Me: O_O
Sweetie: Damon Albarn's a vampire, and so is Jarvis Cocker. Oh, man, I wished I wrote. I'd totally write this.
Me: I'm glad you don't.
Sweetie: C'mon, you have to admit it would totally work. It would practically write itself.
Me: The scary thing is, you're kinda right.


Apparently he's not letting go of the vampire thing, because he brought it up at dinner again today.

Sweetie: So, I've been thinking about the vampire AU.
Me: Really?
Sweetie: Yeah. I've been trying to match up members of Take That with the BritPop bands. Is there one of them who's intellectual and snotty.
Me: Well, Jason's the intellectual one, but he's not snotty. None of them is really snotty.
Sweetie: Okay, he should totally be in Blur. They can convert him and make him be snotty. That or he can end up in Pulp.
Me: Okaaaay.
Sweetie: I'm just trying to figure out if the Take That guys should be good guys, or if they should be totally evil. It could work either way.
Me: You're spending too much time thinking about this, you realize?

The best part is, he DOESN'T LIKE TAKE THAT. At all. I've totally infected his brain. Bwahahaha.

Mind you, if I start writing a TT vampire AU, you'll know where it came from.

Comments

[przed.livejournal.com]

Don't tempt me. It could be quite delicious.

[kayberrisford.livejournal.com]

I wrote a little one once, and would kill for some more TT bloodsucking action!! Delicious indeed, oh, think of sexy vampire!Jason, and pretty, pale Markie, roaming the night together (and werewolf!Howard howling in the background...)

PLEASE BE TEMPTED!!!!

[przed.livejournal.com]

Oh! Would love to read yours. Would you have a link to it?

Delicious indeed, oh, think of sexy vampire!Jason, and pretty, pale Markie, roaming the night together (and werewolf!Howard howling in the background...)

I think you had me at sexy vampire!Jason. There's a thought! (I'm really going to have to write this at some point, aren't I?)

[kayberrisford.livejournal.com]

Here's the end part, with links to the start. As you'll see, it's a bit open ended. I never wrote the next part that fixed them, because I had so much fun breaking them. Bad me!!!!!!!!!

http://cenea.livejournal.com/80448.html#cutid1

Ohy yes, please do!!!!

[przed.livejournal.com]

Fabulous! Shall read it tomorrow. (I'm off to a concert tonight.) And I'll steel myself for them to remain broken at the end. :-(

[kayberrisford.livejournal.com]

Eeeep, yeah, sorry about that.

Just bear in mind, that after the end, Gary drags them all off to a creepy castle somewhere, where Mark becomes even paler and more emperilled, and Jason and Howard look vampirey, sexy and hot, and Gary reads lots of books and finds a way to break some ancient curse, and then they all HAVE TONS OF SEXING!!! The end :)

[przed.livejournal.com]

and then they all HAVE TONS OF SEXING!!! The end :)

Well, that's okay then. ;-)