Why It's a Good Thing the Sweetie Doesn’t Write Fanfic

[przed]

The Sweetie might not be a slash fan himself, but he takes a certain pleasure in pointing out slashiness where he finds it and in coming up with crazy slash pairings and story ideas. He seems to be outdoing himself in this when it comes to Take That.

This probably all started last week when I started quizzing him to see how much TT information he'd absorbed just by being exposed to me.

Me: So do you know any of their names?
Sweetie: Well, there's the Duck Man. (Note: The Sweetie calls Howard Donald the Duck Man because he says he has the name of two ducks. He considers this amusing. Another Note: The Sweetie shares one of those names.)
Me: ::gives Sweetie the evil eye::
Sweetie: Okay, Howard Donald.
Me: Okay, who else.
Sweetie: Um, Jason Orange.
Me: And…
Sweetie: I don't know. The other ones.
Me: Heh. You know, Howard and Jason are usually the ones who gets called the other ones.
Sweetie: Hey, I've got an idea. Why don't you write a story called Duck à L'Orange.
Me: No!
Sweetie: Please!
Me: Absolutely not!
Sweetie: Pretty please!

He kept up the begging. For a while. I'll spare you the details, but you get the idea.


Then, last night, as we were both collapsing, he really outdid himself.

Me: I just finished writing OT3 smut!
Sweetie: Who with?
Me: Who do you think?
Sweetie: Which members of Take That? No, wait! How about two members of Take That and a member of Oasis.
Me: Ah, but which member of Oasis? (I know. I shouldn't encourage him.)
Sweetie: Let's say Noel. I know! It should be a vampire AU. Noel's a vampire. Robbie can be his Renfield. And he's trying to corrupt another member of Take That. Who's the most innocent one?
Me: That would be Mark. Sort of.
Sweetie: So they're trying to corrupt Mark. Oh, and how about all those '90s BritPop bands are also vampire clans, and they're all trying to get members of Take That to join them
Me: O_O
Sweetie: Damon Albarn's a vampire, and so is Jarvis Cocker. Oh, man, I wished I wrote. I'd totally write this.
Me: I'm glad you don't.
Sweetie: C'mon, you have to admit it would totally work. It would practically write itself.
Me: The scary thing is, you're kinda right.


Apparently he's not letting go of the vampire thing, because he brought it up at dinner again today.

Sweetie: So, I've been thinking about the vampire AU.
Me: Really?
Sweetie: Yeah. I've been trying to match up members of Take That with the BritPop bands. Is there one of them who's intellectual and snotty.
Me: Well, Jason's the intellectual one, but he's not snotty. None of them is really snotty.
Sweetie: Okay, he should totally be in Blur. They can convert him and make him be snotty. That or he can end up in Pulp.
Me: Okaaaay.
Sweetie: I'm just trying to figure out if the Take That guys should be good guys, or if they should be totally evil. It could work either way.
Me: You're spending too much time thinking about this, you realize?

The best part is, he DOESN'T LIKE TAKE THAT. At all. I've totally infected his brain. Bwahahaha.

Mind you, if I start writing a TT vampire AU, you'll know where it came from.

Comments

[przed.livejournal.com]

My story was pretty tame, so I figured my mum could handle it. I'd never let her near my more explicit stuff.

The story was in a POD anthology called Lace and Blade 2, and it's kinda hard to get hold of now. But I have a PDF of my story if you'd like me to send it to you. Just let me know the addy.

Between Ros liking TT, having me for a mum, and having a crush on our gay neighbours, I reckon she's well set for having a healthy view of sexual orientation. :)

Glasto was awesome (we'd gone for Pulp, Blur, and Nick Cave, who were all fab) but trying. It is definitely not for everyone.

[kayberrisford.livejournal.com]

I've found Lace and Blade 2 on amazon!! I can order it for a few dollars, so don't worry about the PDF :D For convoluted reasons, I'd quite like to set up an amazon.com account, so if I can get it posted to the UK, then that's will be cool! I'll sort that out later -- I think it looks great :D

Hehe, I'm the same with my mum. Not the more explicit stuff. She betas the tamer stuff, but there's not been too much of that lately ;)

Hmmmmm, well, as Halo pointed out, 'trying' or not, looks like I'll be as Glasto if the boys ever do rock up ;)

[przed.livejournal.com]

Cool. It is a rather lovely anthology, so I'm sure there'll be other stories you'll enjoy. And I hope you'll like mine.

I've been wanting to go back to Glasto, but the Sweetie has been reluctant. However, if the boys ever showed up there, I'd be there like a shot, family in tow. ;-)

[kayberrisford.livejournal.com]

Yay! I can't wait for it to arrive :D

Oooooh, I'll see you there if they do ;D I know Markie used to go quite a bit just to hang out (there are pics as recent as 2007). Ah, that would be fun, to wake up in the morning and find a muddy Markie in the next tent (apart from I think he wussed out and had a caravan in the VIP area!! I even read he once opened a caravan show so they'd lend him one to take!!) Now, if camping involved sharing a luxury caravan with Markie I might become rather keen ;)

[przed.livejournal.com]

You'll have to let me know what you think of the story. (It started life, in a very different shape, as a Pros story set during the Queen's Jubilee. There are virtually no remnants of that left, except the two main characters look rather a lot like Bodie and Doyle.)

Running into a muddy Markie at Glasto would be mind blowing. As for the wussing out, if I had the option of a caravan in the VIP area, I'd take it like a shot. ;-)

[kayberrisford.livejournal.com]

Hehe, you know, I went to an glbt writers convention last year, where basically everyone there was a woman writing m/m romance. When they asked who had converted a fanfic, EVERYONE PUT UP THEIR HANDS ;) I can't wait to read. I think it's a great way to write, as you can get the core of a story written in a relaxed way without the pressure and with the instant hit of feedback, and then later add a bit of character building, or whatever's missing. I can't wait to read :D

That's agreed then. We're all piling in with Markie, whether he likes it or not!!!!